Always & Forever (Nick & Bailey #2)

24. Nick

Nick has repeated the same phrase over and over since he woke up today: when Bailey calls, do NOT start acting like a dick.

When noon comes and goes, and then one o'clock, and then two o'clock, it changes: if Bailey calls, do NOT start acting like a dick.

Why did he have to be that way yesterday? But he already knows the answer. It's the same thing every time: jealousy.

He had her all to himself this last month. He didn't have to share her attention with anyone else, and as immature as it was, he didn't want to give that up even though it was unavoidable.

Now he was jealous of Bailey's friends, especially Derek—more than ever before. And for the first time, he was jealous of Bailey herself for getting to have fun and live life while Nick was stuck struggling to make ends meet and stay in school.

As much as Bailey claimed to understand, she didn't. She couldn't. The only person in his life to really get it was Cam. And if someone would have told Nick at the beginning of the school year that he would actually grow to like the guy, he wouldn't have believed them.

Cam didn't have quite as fucked up of parental issues as Nick, but he didn't come from money either and was a hard worker—most of the time. He had gotten a second job over the summer bartending for private parties and needed a second person yesterday. He swore to Nick that the tips made up for the low hourly wage. They didn't. And the rude customers were just the icing on the cake.

All of it combined to make the perfect storm in helping Nick transform into Captain Asshole.

He's returning to his room after his socioeconomic class and checks his phone. No missed calls. He had thought about skipping class in case Bailey called, and now he's glad he didn't. He's only taking two courses this summer in order to have more time to work, so he should be able to at least show up to them.

He hears his phone ringing in his pocket and quickly grabs it. He's anxious, and his hands are wobbly, and he ends up dropping the phone in an effort to answer it. He looks around, but no one saw him, thankfully.

He sees Bailey's name on the screen. "Hey."

"Hi," she says. "You sound out of breath."

Just excited that she'd actually called him. "I'm walking home."

"Oh I see. Do you want to call me back when you get there?"

"No." What if she decides not to answer next time?

"How are you?" She asks.

Awful, lonely, pissed at himself, consumed with the need to turn back time one week.

"Fine. You?"

"I'm good. A little hungover though."

"You got drunk last night?"

"Yeah. It wasn't a big deal. Derek just got a case of beer to celebrate."

"Well thank God for Derek, I guess."

"Nick, I'm not going to fight about this anymore."

"That's not what I'm doing." Although now that he reflects, that's exactly what he's doing. Fuck. He told himself all fucking day to not be like this with her, but he can't fucking control himself in the moment. He hears that she's having fun, and he's not a part of it, and all rational thought is out the window.

"Whatever. I need to talk to you." She's annoyed.

There is zero chance that this conversation is going to go in his favor. "I'm all ears."

He meant to sound lighthearted but realized it came out sounding like sarcasm.

"Are you home yet?"

"Walking down the hall now."

"Okay. Tell me when you get to your room."

Nick wants to protest but decides to remain quiet, and after thirty seconds of the most awkward silence of his life, he finally shuts his dorm room door behind him. He takes another half second to inhale and exhale before talking.

"Okay, I'm here. What's up?"

He noticed right away that her tone has changed from a minute ago. It's softer, kinder, more sympathetic. "First of all, Nick, I love you so much. So much that I don't want to see you upset anymore. I feel like everything I do lately just pisses you off, and I don't know how to help you. I never know the right thing to say, or do, or think."

"I feel like you're leading up to something, Bailey. Please just spit it out." Nick closes his eyes because deep down he knows what's coming.

"I think, Nick, that we should...take a break."

And with those words, Nick's heart actually leaves his chest and slams through the floor at his feet.

"Wh—what do you mean?" His voice is shaking along with the rest of his body. He has to take one step to reach his bed, and he sits down on it. "I already haven't seen you for a week, Bailey. That is a break."

"I know, but last night I did a lot of thinking and—"

"Was this Derek's idea?"

There's a pause that tells him all he needs to know. "No, Nick. It wasn't. I think this is what we need."

Nick throws himself back onto his bed and covers his eyes. This can't be real. He's dreaming. But he's not.

"Bailey, I'm sorry. I know I've been an awful human lately. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"I don't know what's wrong either, Nick. That's why I think we need this time. So we can both figure things out."

"So, does that mean this is over? You and I are..." He can't even say the word.

"No, Nick. We're not over. This will probably just be a temporary break from each other."

"Probably?!? Bailey, no. Please."

He can hear her breath shaking into the receiver. At least he's not alone. But even now, he wants to help her feel better. "So how long of a break do you need?"

"It's not just for me, Nick."

"Trust me, it is. I know what I want."

She sighs. "I don't know how long I'll need, Nick. How about I just get in touch with you?"

"I don't really have a choice, do I?"

"I'm sorry, Nick."

"I love you, Bailey."

Her voice is weak when she answers, but Nick feels a wave of hope when he hears "Always."

*Its been awhile since my last author's note, and I really don't have much to say except THANK YOU for reading! These two still have lots in store for them (good and bad) and I can't wait to write it. I just wish I had more hours in the day! Vote if you're liking it please!*