What If

Twenty Seven

I never imagined that my life will be like this. I am now hating my fame and name. I am now hating my own reputation. If I am just a normal lady with a normal life, this wouldn't be harder for me. I will never cross my line or hurt anyone. I will live my life freely.

"Ako na ang bahala para mag-prepare para sa kasal ninyo, anak. If you have any suggestions, please don't hesitate to talk to me..." My mom said pero hindi ako nakikinig.

It was a lie wedding preparation. I will only marry him because of our loans. Cedrick told me that I can file an annulment anytime I want after we pay our loans. I realize that I really need to sacrifice most of my works. I will leave Ronz' Magazines. Maybe, I'll leave Ronzeval Corporation but it won't be a problem to me since Daddy is the CEO.

"Lorrie..." the Manila sun heated my face as I sat the monoblock chair near our house.

I did not answer to Cedrick's call. I am too pre-occupied with too many things in my mind. I did not call anyone at the resort since I came here. Kamusta na kaya sila?

"I'm sorry for what happened...to your friend, I didn't meant to say those words to him or even hurt him phsically." Banayad na sabi ni Cedrick.

I looked at his brownished hair. Something I remember when we we're working together at the resort. His natural brown hair is his best asset. That's why girls go crazy for him.

"You know...this is a stupid decision, right? We don't love each other, Ced." Kalmado kong sinabi.

He choked looked at me at very serious way. Humangin ng katamtamang lakas. I am focusing now on the sun. It was really hot in here but it was okay. Maybe my skin needs this sometime.

"I love you, Lorraine. Even when we are still working together. But I do not have anything, to prove myself. Walang wala ako para maipagmalaki mo o humarap bilang manliligaw because I know your family will shut me...." He explained.

I cleared my throath. "That's why they're pushing Tyron away from me, is that it?"

"Can't you see? You are a Ronzeval, Lorraine. You already have everything. And to think that you're marrying someone who isn't fit on your level will only destroy everything from you."

Umiling ako. "Sana ay tumanggi ka na lang! Did you think I chose to be like this? No! I did not. Kaya hindi ito pwedeng isumbat sa akin."

"Pero huli na... Tinitingala kana ng lahat. Talents and hardworks, those are your foundation." Aniya. Mariin.

Although, I already know what is the ending of all of this, I still wanted to try. To convince my parents, or even Cedrick. I am so hopeless right now but  I still wanted to push more my strenght. Maybe, in any minute they will realize.

"I'll be a good husband to you... I know it is so hard to say or conclude, but really... I meant it. I will take care of you."

Ngumiti ako nang mapait. "How 'bout me, Ced? How about my feelings?"

"I know in some other time in the future, you will also learn how to love me. I am not really sure, but probably you know, I can find a place in your heart."

Iyon ang naging laman ng isip ko sa unang linggo ko sa Manila. I blocked all of my numbers in my phonebook. I wanted to start a new life...maybe for a mean time. I wanted to see myself. The resort was too crowded for me to think.

I am completely amazed by the beauty of La Veznor Resort. Kahit sa social media ko na lamang siya nakikita, I am still so proud of it's progress.

"Lorraine, pwede bang ikaw muna ang sumundo kay Trevor sa school? Just make sure uuwi siya ng diretso sa bahay." Daddy ordered.