based on true events :(
a letter to jin, my best friend.
sometimes, when i am not feeling good, just the thought of your name lightens my mood. i just feel content that you are there to protect me, to save me, to guard me, from any harm that will befall me.
i know you will always be there for me, to lift me up when i fall. you are everything, i know, the person who laughs before picking me up, the person who hugs me when i am crestfallen, the person who wipes hot gloomy tears which fall from my eyes.
i will always remember those moments when we laughed together, got scoldings together, when we played pranks on our classmates.
my love for you is no joke, so why did you treat it like one?
you spent way more time with him than you did me.
kim namjoon, the new student i befriended and invited to join us, is the one i'm talking about. i mean none of this is with any offence to him. the boy is just as sweet as you are, charming his way through life with his intelligence and dimples.
although, as much as it sounds mean of me to say, i wish i never brought him over to you.
the minute you two met it was like i stopped existing. i simply was just there.
you stopped the hugs, the jokes and the pick-me-ups, instead focusing all your time on him.
at the time, i believed it was me. maybe i had done something to make you feel uncomfortable around me or maybe i had made you mad. i tried to fix it, i truly did. cookies, presents and attention, i gave you everything.
but it wasn't enough for you.
i don't remember the day you drifted too far away for me to reach and pull you back in. i felt as if just standing by your side felt wrong so i gave up.
i see you a lot now, laughing and smiling with namjoon. it makes my heart hurt because we used to be like that. but i know you're happy so i duck my head down and keep walking.
however, on the rare occasion that we do lock gazes, yours is filled with something similar to regret and longing. i smile whenever we do this, letting you know that it's okay. we can try again and fix this.
i love you and will love you forever, no matter how far across the continent you are, a part of your soul will always be etched in me.
i hope you still love me too.
- y/n
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