NEVER BE ENOUGH- in which you are the eighth member of bts but nothing you do is ever good enough for them
"God, catch up, Y/N!" Hoseok scolds, trudging over to his phone to replay the song for the tenth time. You flinch at his tone but nod, feeling that he has every reason to be mad at you. You did ask him to stay back after rehearsals and help you with the choreography despite being given hours upon hours to rehearse.
He joins you, awaiting the cue as you study your position in the mirror. Quickly fixing up your legs and angles according to Hoseok's positioning, you start the dance, your shoes squeaking on the floor of the dance practice room. Hoseok performs silently beside you, watching your every move carefully so he doesn't miss a mistake. Your smile becomes less forced as you begin to get a feel for the song, movements becoming more fluid instead of sharp.
Hoseok notices this but stays quiet.
It comes to the spin, your arm moving too far into it causing you to misjudge your stepping and stumble forward, landing painfully on your knees. Hoseok brushes past you, disappointment etched clearly onto his face.
"You're impossible. Help yourself learn the fucking dance," he spits out, collecting his bag, water bottle and phone, hand hovering over the knob.
"Hey, Y/N," you shamefully look up, hoping to see his heart-shaped smile beaming down upon you. Instead, you're greeted with his frown, the look more scary than anything else. "Don't be late to vocal training. Jin will lose his shit."
With that, he leaves, slamming the door behind him.
You throw yourself back onto the cool floor, sighing heavily. What were you thinking? That he'd run back to you and give you a hug? Ask if you're okay? Or even just apologise for his actions? That's asking for too much.
It's no lie to say that you deserve it. You're holding the boys back from the spotlight and fame that they deserve. You're the only girl in the group, statistics showing that co-ed groups don't normally succeed in the industry but Bang PD is certain of your success within the group. The only downside is that Bang PD wants to hold the group's debut off for a few years to observe public opinion on co-ed groups for more positive responses.
He's only looking out for the eight of you but you can't help but wish he put you out there on the scheduled date. Maybe then the members wouldn't hate you so much, their anger towards having to wait longer to present what they've been working so hard on regularly taken out on you.
You force yourself to stand, groaning in pain as your muscles protest against your every move. Glancing warily at the clock, you curse, frantically grabbing your belongings before running straight towards the recording booth.
You're late for vocal training again.
*
You barge in, apologising profusely and bowing down so far that you're afraid your back may permanently lock into the position. The boys just scowl at you, looking over at Jin who looks like he's about to snap.
"This is the fourth time you're late, Y/N. I kept my cool the first three times but now this is just ridiculous!" He yells, advancing towards you slowly and intimidatingly.
You flinch, gulping nervously. The vocal trainer picks up her phone and heads into the sound booth, animatedly talking into it as if she's in the middle of a phone call. She just doesn't want to get in the middle of something or feel pressured to speak up for someone unworthy.
"Are you trying to push us back, hmm? Are you trying to make sure we don't debut?"
You look up to see Jin standing in front of you with his arms crossed over his chest, lips pressed into a thin line. Jimin stands too, lips twisted into a disgusted scowl as he looks you up and down mockingly.
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