Don't Hug Me I'm Scared {Billie Eilish}

{85}✔️

A/N: my story is eligible for the wattys and I'm so shook and overwhelmed. That's never happened before and I'm going insaneee. 🖤

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Dahlia's POV
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"So, for this project, we'll be exploring married life! Last project, you guys got to plan the wedding, now you're actually married!" Mrs. East handed out the grading rubrics, checklist and instructions for the new project as she spoke.

"What the hell happened to the honeymoon? We skipped right over that and everybody knows that's the best part!" Jacob Wesley's annoying ass voice boomed from the back of the room.

"Yeah, I mean, that's why people get married in the first place!" Caden piped up.

"Yeah, that and because somebody's pregnant." Kai nodded.

"Well, I guess it's just 'fuck love' to all of y'all, huh?" Cadence snickered.

"We don't have time for a honeymoon, and most of you don't seem like you'd be able to afford it anyway." Mrs. East smirked. Billie raised her hand and Mrs. East rolled her eyes. "With a few exceptions, of course."

"I'd want a honeymoon in Cabo," Billie mumbled. "Or somewhere in Mexico. Or Spain!"

"Cabo is in—" I cut myself off, not even bothering to correct her.

"In this project, we'll be exploring all kinds of marital issues! Careers, bills, children, scandals." She emphasized the last word, grinning like a Cheshire Cat as she looked around the class. "Is your spouse cheating on you? Do you need couples therapy? Find out when you spin the wheel of misfortune!" She pointed at the large wheel on her desk which seemed to be filled with marital issues that we'd be assigned.

"So, each couple will get six marital issues to work through. You have to tell me how you'd deal with them, simple as that. You guys will be married for a month. This project will end on March 15th, and we all know the drill by now. It needs to be on my desk on time or you'll be getting a zero! You're gonna be doing a lot of typing. You guys are gonna be pissed at this, but you need to write a thirty-page report—"

"I know you fucking lying!"

"Oh no, baby, what is you doing?"

"Now, see, you doing some real clownery right now."

"Nah, Nah, nah, that's not gonna work."

"WHO gotta do a thirty-page report?!"

"No ma'am, no ham, no turkey. That's incorrect. That's a incorrect statement."

"Thirty pages, ta loco thirty pages!"

"Double spaced and size 48 font, RIGHT?!"

The class erupted into chaos for a good five minutes before she could calm it down and get control again. What did she expect? Who the hell assigns a thirty-page report? That's unheard of.

"I know it sounds like a lot, but trust me, with the amount of stuff you'll be covering it'll be easy to type up thirty pages! It's not like you have to do it all at once either! This is why you have a whole month! Now listen, some of you can't afford a bad grade on this since you decided to try me and not turn your last project in on time." She glared at some students before continuing. "Complain all you want, but make sure you do it on your own time and make sure those thirty pages are on my desk on March 15th!"