Don't Hug Me I'm Scared {Billie Eilish}

{93}✔️

Dahlia's POV
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"Garage sale is officially on for this weekend. Saturday, of course, and I think we're gonna make hella money. A lot of our friends agreed to bring some stuff over to sell and they don't mind letting us keep the profits." I explained as I fed the wailing baby doll in my arms. Ten more fucking days and then it'll be Thursday the fifteenth, and this project will officially be over and done with. I'm ready.

"What do you think I should do to keep Denny distracted?" Billie asked curiously.

"I have no clue. Maybe you guys could go baby browsing?"

"You want us to...Shop for babies?" She tilted her head. I rolled my eyes and let out a small laugh.

"No, Billie. I mean, like, browse for baby clothes and toys and shit like that. There's a really nice, huge baby store an hour away. That'll keep him busy for a while."

"Cool refried beans. Maybe after we finish shopping we can eat, see a movie, do something fun." She shrugged a little. "We could even go house hunting or something. Just text me whenever you're ready for us to come back."

"...Did you just say cool refried beans?" I furrowed my brows.

"Is that literally the only thing you paid attention to?"

"Well, how could I pay attention to anything else after hearing that?"

"Ladies, there doesn't seem to be much discussion about the project I assigned you going on." Mrs. East sent us a look as she stood in front of our table, looking down at Capone and Petrillo. "What the hell happened to those babies? They look like they've been run over by a bus!"

I blushed as I glanced at the beaten up babies we were holding. They've got scuff marks all over, the little bit of hair they've got is matted, they're dirty as shit, Petrillo's arm looks like it's about to fall off...Damn.

"It was actually a car, but--"

"Billie, shut the fu--"

"How the--How could you let your baby get run over by a car?!" Mrs. East gasped. "You girls are gonna get the worst grade in the history of this class the way things are looking, I mean, this is ridiculous. I can't believe--"

"Whoa, whoa, wait! Chill!" Billie cut in quickly. "I-I was just joking about the car thing!"

"Yeah, and we're not gonna get a bad grade because we've almost got our thirty pages done and I guarantee you're gonna like what we've written!" I added, laughing nervously.

"Okay, but the project isn't just about the report. You're also being graded on how well your babies are taken care of!" Mrs. East shook her head as she took Petrillo out of my arms. She looked over her and shook her head as the baby's head fell to the side. That is definitely not supposed to happen. "I like you two, but this looks like an F++ to me."

"Wait, we didn't realize we were also being graded on how the babies were taken care of! You never mentioned that!" Billie said, her eyes widening.

"Did you two even read the rubric? That's one of the first things on it."

"Did we read the rubric?" I laughed lowly. "Did we read the rubric?! Well, of course not, Mrs. East! Nobody ever reads the rubric! Why on earth--"