Saving Us *Mate Astray*

Chapter 39

Elektra's POV

"Elektra"

Her voice isn't what I expected in the sense that it was formal, as if she was speaking to one of her pack members rather than her mate. That fact alone did not settle well with me and it spoke of a rather unpleasant conversation.

I turned in her direction, no longer feeling dazzled by being in her room, in her personal space but rather apprehensive of what this conversation could do to our relationship.

"I have asked you here to talk to you about your upcoming journey." Distant and formal, she continued. "I'm worried that you are not taking other people into consideration and that this decision is rushed and without foundation."

I grind my teeth and clench my fists in a futile attempt to keep my temper in check. She is speaking to me like I am one of her cubs, pulling a prank only to get attention from her superiors.

My eyes must have given my anger away because she quickly realises her mistake, takes on a less imposing posture and uncertainty clouds her eyes. Being vulnerable does not come easily to shifters that are in a position of power where they are never questioned and who's decisions are never challenged.

I need her to let me in

"If there is something you want to tell me then do it as my mate Sarah, not as an Alpha."

A small nod is all I get in return as she collects her thoughts. "You don't have to go. Victoria is not your responsibility."

I sigh, more out of exhaustion than annoyance. There never seems to be a time where things are simple between us.

"We have had this conversation before Sarah, there is nothing that will make me change my mind, not even you."

I knew my words caused her pain but I needed her to finally understand why I was doing this, why I was the only one capable of doing it.

"Victoria may not have started as my responsibility but we both know that I am the only one that stands a chance against her." Sarah's eyes flash with understanding but still I continue. "We are alike, her and I, born with the same beast and the same curse. If I cannot defeat her then no one can so I have to at least try."

Sarah closes her eyes briefly, to steady herself as I dig my nails into my hands to stop myself from taking her into my arms.

She needs time to process this

We do not have time

Came the sullen voice of Atesh as she fought off her own desire to comfort our mate.

I know

Silence fell in the room as well as the world outside, as if every animal and creature knew how important this conversation was and had decided to give us time to ourselves.

"Take me with you." Came the words whispered in the dead of silence, resonating fear, fear for my life. "If you die then I will die with you."

I was not sure if the tears that came to my eyes were at the thought of Sarah dying or the fact that she did not believe in me and that made me feel betrayed, but they came nonetheless.

I have only cried twice in my life and each time I promised myself it would not happen again because it always made me feel weak, defeated. This time I made no such promise because I knew that there would be no next time as I did not plan to come back at all.

Maybe these tears were because I knew that by not coming back I was sentencing Sarah to a lifetime of pain and I could not bear the guilt and disgust I felt towards myself.