XXIV.) everything is hazy

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Confusion. Nerve-wracking. Oblivious. These words are the ones that kept ringing inside my head. It's been 3 whole weeks since Jeongyeon sent me that message, and it's been 3 whole fucking weeks of me struggling to act like everythings fine infront of my girlfriend.

Truth is, I mentally prepared myself for this day to arrive, and I don't know if I'll still be able to act normal around Chaeyoung after I find out about what my arrival is all about.

11:30am
[Cup o' Joe Cafe]

It's almost lunch time so the streets are becoming busy with workers, employees, and students wanting to squish up themselves against the stampede just to eat lunch or brunch.

I saw her at the end side of the café, her chin is resting on her knuckles while her elbow is propped down against the table, she's scrolling through her phone while glancing outside to check if I arrived.
She still haven't changed a bit, I wonder if her personality is still the same after we cut our communication down.

I leisurely walked towards her table and sat infront of her as we greet each other and finally made some orders.

It was awkward at first but along the process I realized that there's nothing to worry about masking up my emotions; she's my bestfriend after all.

//

Jeongyeon's pov

"You won now Jeongie, no need for us to banter anymore." She stated, with a mix of humor and bitterness trailing her words.

I finally told everything to her. My "investigations", the dumb ones, the factual and the concrete proof to her.
I could tell she was indenial, I know her for a long time and I know that she's a strong woman, I know she prepared herself mentally and physically.

But I could see the faint glint in her eyes as soon as I dropped my words. Her smile is not reaching her ears anymore, the little wrinkles that forms when she's genuinely happy are nowhere to be found. I was the one who broke her heart and I feel guilty about it, but I'd rather hurt her with the truth than comfort her with a lie.

I could tell she doesn't want to be here anymore, she always shifts in her seat wanting to get out of here. She wants to leave this place and go anywhere other than here; and I understand that.

"I'm so sorry. If you want to leave, feel free to do so, I know it hurts so let yourself breathe." I cooed her while rubbing the back of her hand.

She sighed and stared at me for a long time. Her expression was melancholic at first, then it turned into gratitude for a friend for not betraying her, and then her gaze went blank, empty, as if she went into another dimension and void; it scared the shit out of me.

She just smiled at me and left. Disappearing in a matter of seconds.

//

The night after the revelation

Your pov
I put my hands inside the pockets of my hoodie as I headed towards the lakeshore. Intentionally making my steps slower because there's nothing left for me to look forward to for the next day, and the day after and so on. I don't have any meetings or work for tomorrow; even if I do, I won't be able to go to work feeling like this.

As I sat in a vacant bench, I looked around the scenery and hell, everything I see is either grey or blue. Goddamnit.

It's crazy how the person who made you so in love, made your heart beat frantically against your chest, and it hurt you in a good way; but also had the ability to do the same when that person would cause you pain.

My heart hurt so bad right now that I couldn't feel the tears that would threaten to fall or that enormous lump that would form inside your throat. Nothing. Just emptiness.

Because let's be honest, you wouldn't ever think about all the negativities and flaws to a girl like her, everything about that woman is perfect; she can serenade you to sleep, she can make you laugh without even trying, she can take you to heaven and can wipe away your frown with just a single kiss, she can be your other fire because you're already a fire yourself; so the two of you combined could set the whole world on fire.

But that fire burned out so quickly; with a snap, in a blink of an eye. All gone just like that.

I was sulking until I felt my pocket vibrate, Roseanne is calling me.

I shut my phone off and put it inside my pocket and just stayed here for a bit longer.

//

Chaeyoung's pov
Y/N left before lunch and the dinner time is almost over but still she isn't home yet. I tried texting and calling her but no response, it would always direct me to voicemail.

I also tried calling her best friend and she said they parted ways few hours back and she has no idea where she went.

I'm starting to get nervous while the girls are comforting me.

'she didn't. there's no way she heard us'

I mentally thought to myself as I struggled to calm down. Tomorrow we have a lot of work to do, so I decided to sleep and pray in hopes of seeing her in the company tomorrow, I know she doesn't skip work, she's very hardworking.

I love her to death, I couldn't risk losing her

//

3 days later

It's been 3 days and Y/N haven't showed up and her line is now dead. I have no idea where to contact her, I only know Jeongyeon as her family member, the rest is unknown; I feel worthless not taking any time to actually getting to know her.

Your pov

I stayed in a cheap nearby inn I could find in the nearest lake I went to and decided to just stay here to sought everything out.

Although Jeongyeon's words and proofs that she told me are just a simple dialogue but it hurts like hell, specially when it came from your lovers mouth. I just couldn't believe it.

I've been diagnosed with my vices, I hate it but it's the only gateway I could do to relieve stress.

I opened my phone and it was bombarded by tons of messages, mostly from Rosé, the others are my friends. They're all asking where am I and if I'm alright.

I sigh and decided to take a shower and go home to Chaeyoung; even if her home is not me anymore.

--

a/n: what do you think Jeongie told to you? HEHEHEHE i love writing this chapter

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