It's Not Cool | Jonas Brothers

Chapter 9

Joe's P.O.V.
Kevin has been away for a while. Nick has been away even longer. I don't trust him alone right now. He hides himself way too much. It's like he is trying to protect himself from something. From what? Our feelings?

Pippa has been taken away by a doctor and a nurse to perform some tests. They want to test her blood for instance.

She looked even worse when she went away. I'm really worried for her health. It's silent in the waiting room. I know all our minds are occupied with both Pippa and Nick.

After what feels like hours, Kevin and Nick enter the waiting room again. Took them long enough.

"Took you guys long enough." I figured I should mention it. Kevin sat next to me. "Not now please." He begs me with a whisper.

Nick chose to ignore me and walks over to take his backpack from mom. He sits a couple of seats away and takes out his kit to test himself.

He mumbles something about being a bit low and mentions to mom that he's going to find a vending machine really quick. I decide to walk with him. Away from the uncomfortable silence in the waiting room.

"Don't be stupid." Kevin warns me as I stand up to walk after Nick.

"I won't." I tell him. I'm not planning on making things worse for Nick.

"Nick, wait up!" I speak loudly after him. Not yelling, because I'd never hear the end of it.

"What do you want Joe." Nick waits for me.

"I wanted to get out of there and make sure you are okay." I try to not put that much concern in my voice, but I'm not sure if it's working.

"I'm okay. Honestly. Kev talked to me and helped me." Nick answers.

"Good. What do you want?" I ask him as we are nearing a vending machine. I take out my wallet. "You don't have to pay for me." He smiles. "But I want to pay for you. Let me buy you your sugar bomb. Please?" I exaggerate by pouting my lips.

He laughs a little more and shakes his head to my childishness. "Fine. You can buy me some M&M's." I bump my fist in the air for the win and buy him M&M's. In the process I buy myself some candy as well.

There is a comfortable silence under us as we eat our candy.

"It's hard." He says out of nowhere. I look at him to see him keep his eyes focused on his M&Ms. "Sometimes it's really hard to keep my Diabetes on track. I can't eat without a care. I always have to remember to test and to have my kit and all that stuff ready and nearby. I sometimes forget the insulin shots. Sometimes when I'm alone, it's hard to deal with it all. When I'm low, I can be so tired that I want to sleep forever, but I can't, because I could actually end up sleeping forever. And when I'm high, I can get so frustrated with myself, my Diabetes or with the world that I want to throw my stuff around the room and break everything I own." He pauses before continuing.

"I broke one of my kits a few months ago when I couldn't keep my sugar level in range. It's been so hard that I've been 'accidentally' forgetting to test. Lately I haven't been looking very well after myself. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. I don't want this anymore, Joe. I hate it." He tells me.

He never told us before that he's still struggling so much with it all. Of course we could have known this, but we didn't. I feel like an utter moron. The most terrible older brother a guy can be for their baby brother.

"Why didn't you call me or Kev?" I ask him. "I didn't think you would help me." The way he says it, it sounds so empty. "Don't say that. We'd help you without even thinking about it Nicky. We love you. We would put everything aside immediately or in the gutter to help you. You and your health are much more important than a stupid argument. I don't ever want to hear you say such thing again. Okay?" I ask him.

He decides to ignore my request. "Kevin said to ask for help if I need it. Will you help me?" He cries. Our eyes meet and his big, brown eyes look terrified.

"Of course we'll help you." Was all I needed to say. It's true. That sentence should be enough for him to know that I'll support him and that I'll help him look after himself. I'm sure the idiotic nodding of my head will give him the reassurance he needs.

"How've your levels been lately?" He gives his mind a minute to think. "They've been high and low. Not too high to look for ketones, yet, and luckily not too low I couldn't manage."

"Alright, manageable so it seems." I conclude. "Barely. The lows and highs are quick and it can take days to recover from a bad level before dropping into the next." Nick explains.

"So, we've got a couple of options here. I can move in with you or you can move in with me." I count our options.

I continue because we've got another option. "Or we can move back home and get mom and dad to help out too. Kev is married and Danielle is pregnant. He won't move in." I tell him.

"I don't want him too." Nick says quickly. "If it's okay with you, I'd like for us to move back home. That way there are more eyes if you are unavailable. We could also help out more at home with Frankie and we can be there for Pippa."

"I like that idea, but we have to make sure she knows that it's only for a certain amount of time. I'm not going to live at home until I'm thirty. I'm twenty-three. I've got a life to start. Kevin had already been married for two years when he was my age!" I exclaim.

"If you've got your goal set at thirty, you've got seven years left to figure out how to do it." Nick laughs.

"Almost six! Time is running out." He starts laughing out loud. That is my goal for now. To get him to laugh and forget about everything, even if it's only for a few seconds.