It's Not Cool | Jonas Brothers

Chapter 30

Pippa's P.O.V.
I had my backpack already packed in my room. If my birthday is going to be how I think it's going to be, I'm outta here in seconds.

I skipped down the stairs to enjoy my own party in the hope to prove myself wrong, but who am I kidding?

Why does my birthday have to be two days after Nick's birthday? When we were little, I always enjoyed that. To share the day with my older brother who I look up too. I still look up to him. He's done so many great things in his life. I wish I could say the same about mine.

But no, I'm plain little sister Pippa. No one cares for me. These last years, I've always been congratulated by visitors on my brother's birthday. Never with mine!

People have asked me before on my birthday when my birthday was. That is by far, I think, the lowest question you can ask someone on their birthday. Always seeing the regret in their eyes after I tell them that the party is also for my birthday.

Why did I think today would be any different? People are already congratulating me with Nick's birthday. At least mom, dad, Joe, Kevin, Frankie and Nick remembered.

I wouldn't have known what to do with myself if they hadn't taken the time to sing happy birthday for me.

Looking in the fridge, I see the cake mom baked. She made a special one with a picture of Nick and I on top. I can already hear the guests wonder why I'm also on the cake. I shake my head and sigh. Why am I even trying to be happy? I know I'm not.

I'm sure I can't even eat the cake. I can't do it. It's too much. It's too many calories. I know I've been doing better, but I'm getting heavier and heavier. I don't even think Nick is this heavy.

I try to avoid mirrors at all costs. Just looking into the mini ones to only see my face in the reflection.

Walking outside, I mend myself into the party. Its 50 percent thrown for me, but it doesn't feel like that percentage. I know that apart from family, everyone is here on Nick's behalf. Knowing him from the music industry and the band.

Me? I've only got family and the people who recognize me as his little sister. Not like they know it's my birthday.

Unlike Nick, I hate my birthday now. It's for this reason. Even their fans don't know it's my birthday. And if they do? They don't bother mentioning it.

I'm not an attention seeker. I love that my brother is getting the attention he wants and needs, but is it so wrong to get a bit of attention from others besides my family when it's also my birthday? Does that make me selfish?

I've made my decision. I'm out of here. Now.

I walk back into the house and up to my room. I put on my other shoes, more comfortable ones, and I grab my jacket and backpack I had prepared. I had decided not to write a note. They know I love them and they will figure it out as soon as they can't find me.

I wander around a bit, through all the rooms. I stick around in Nick's a little bit longer, looking at all the pictures. We look so happy in all these pictures. They don't show the pain we go through every single day. They are just short moments of our lives, captured to not be forgotten through the hard times.

My eye catches one of Nick and I together. I've got the exact same one. I stashed mine in a medallion I once got from him and wear it under my clothes, to be safe. I can't lose it. It'll be the only thing left of him. I've got to leave everything behind, using the space in my backpack with clothes, necessities and money.

I can't run and use my credit card. They'll follow me. I'll only use it once to get more money and after I'll break the card and throw it away.

A plane ticket is off limits either, because if they contact the police, they'll know I took a flight and they'll know where I went. I guess it's all up to me where to go.

I sneak downstairs and sneak my way out of my old house.

I throw my head forward to grab all my hair and put it up in a bun. I'm not even sure if I made the right decision. Walking down the streets, I notice a lot of happy homes. People enjoying each other's company outside, or silently reading books, enjoying some music, enjoying drinks together. Everyone is happy. That's how I left my home. Everyone was happy.

I hurt my parents for sure. They remembered my birthday, my brothers all remembered my birthday and yet here I am, walking out of their lives because no one else seems to have remembered it.

It seems unfair. Life is unfair. Get used to it.

Turning another corner, I see a bus stop not far away. I walk over to see where it goes. Not seeing a any harm in a bus, I wait for the bus to arrive. Seems I'm lucky. Hadn't even had to wait for ten minutes.

I get on the bus. "Where too, kiddo?" The bus driver asks me cheerily.

"Uhm, far away from here." He looks at me weird. "Hop on, kiddo. This one's on me." He keeps staring at me weird as if he's trying to figure out exactly what I'm doing. I think he knows I'm running away and I'm sure he's going to report it to someone, but by then I hope I'll be long gone.

I walk a few rows towards the back of the bus and sit in a window seat, staring at the passing scenery.

My phone dings in my pocket. I take it out to see a notification. Nothing important. It's going to rain at home. At home. I'm not going to go home. It dawns on me. The mistake I've made. I can't go back. This is what I wanted, and this is what I'm going to do. My decision is final. I don't quit what I start. I don't want to go back there. I hated it there. I didn't hate my family, I love them, but I hated everything else.

Now is the chance for me to start fresh.

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