It's Not Cool | Jonas Brothers

Chapter 34

Frankie's P.O.V.
I volunteered to go shopping for mom. She gave me the grocery list she prepared for herself and handed me some money with it.

I quickly went on my way on my bike with a grocery bag.

Walking around in the store made me think of Pippa wandering around through the city streets. Where would she be now? I don't think I would survive for a day.

I'm a mommas boy and I can't help it. My siblings often taunt me with it, but I don't care. I'm proud to be my mother's boy. I'm the baby, whether I like that or not. I'll always be the baby.

I quickly grabbed everything mom wanted me go get and went to check-out. When I finished up in one of the lines, a girl looking like Pippa left the store.

I didn't know how quickly I ran after her, I just knew I had to get her back.

I ran outside and looked around. No Pippa. She'd gone up in the maze of people. I ran around for a bit and ran my hands through my hair in frustration. I even started to cry, feeling so hopeless. We know nothing. For all we know, she could have been chased by fans. She could have died in a gutter. Literally anything is possible at this point.

We haven't gotten a sign of her being alive from the usage of cards or anything. Nothing. She disappeared off the face of the earth.

I heard my brothers talk about how fans have started to notice the lack of posts from my brothers and on the band account. They specifically noticed Pippa's lack of posts on social media.

Going home, I put on some music to distract me. When I got home, I put the groceries away and did the exact opposite. I pulled out my phone from my pocket and opened Instagram.

I searched for Pippa's account and scrolled through her pictures. She never uploaded anything after she left.

I opened a few of them. Always wearing the frown Nick has got as well. It's rare that she laughed or smiled in a picture, but when she did, they always ended up on her Instagram.

"She's beautiful." Joe says from behind me. I jumped. "Was." I correct him.

"You speak as if she's dead." Joe says.

I look at him. His smile turns into a frown. "She is dead to me." I tell him. I know I can't say things like this, but this is how I feel right now and I'm going to snap if I don't say it to anyone. "Why? You can't say this Frankie. She's not dead." Joe rests his hand on my shoulder to try and understand me by feeling my body language.

"Can't you see what she's doing to us? To herself? She's killing us by killing herself! She's ran off to Peter knows where and no one has heard a thing of her. And Nick? Nick is crushed, Joe. You can see that right. Nick is now killing himself over her. She's made this choice and by making this choice, she ran from her life. From our lives. She's dead to me." I don't hold anything back.

Joe has got tears in his eyes and shakes his head. "I don't know what to say to you. I wish I could help you, but I can't. I'm sorry." So Joe just sat with me, his hand still on my shoulder to support me.

The silence was comfortable, but very awkward if Joe and I accidentally looked at each other at the same time. Joe always giving me a sad smile.

He's on the verge of breaking down, but aren't we all? I mean, come one. She's dead in my books for a reason. She's tearing everybody down and I hate her for it.

She's got this massive impact on our family and for what? A little bit of attention when she decides she doesn't want to be a part of our family anymore?

I can't ever forgive her for putting us through this.

Joe leaves me alone. He probably doesn't know how to respond or simply doesn't want to.

I get that with all this, I'm putting an enormous strain on our family. That's the thing I didn't want to do. I was the one fighting for our family, but I guess family isn't forever.

We might be related by blood, but family is formed by people who care for each other that don't necessarily need to be related.

Blood related family can't be chosen. And I wish I could have chosen mine. I have an amazing family. I love them, but right now I wish my life was more simple. Like I'm not the last Bonus Jonas who came years later to surprise all.

They all have a family bond that I can never relate too. They have all these memories and family videos that I'm not apart of, because I wasn't there yet.

It's like a couple of days ago all over again.

Sighing, I hide my face in my hands. I'm so frustrated by all of this. This isn't normal.

"Hey Tank." Dad greets me. "Hi." I stutter out.

"Are you okay, Frankie?" I shake my head.

"No dad. I'm not okay." I tell him. I look him straight in de eyes with my blank expression to make sure he knows that I'm not joking.

"It's going to be okay, Frankie. I can't tell you how or when, but it will be okay. No matter what happens, we're all family and no matter where everyone is, we'll always be family."

I nod. "I know dad, but it is too much. I don't think I can keep this up any longer." I tell him.

"I've contacted everyone we know to look out for her and the boys are going to do an interview soon on her disappearance and we'll get everyone involved to look for her. She can't have disappeared off the earth. We'll know where she is soon enough."

"And why do you think she'll come back without a fight. It's Pippa we're talking about, dad. She's not going to come home willingly."