It's Not Cool | Jonas Brothers

Chapter 45

Pippa's P.O.V.
I called Molly to ask her if she knew. She hadn't known and found out through me.

I probably made them miserable, helped Nick even more towards his suicide and now they lost a son. I miss Frankie who would look after me. I miss their protection.

I live out in the streets and I'm scared every time a person walks past or knows I'm nearby and in reach.

I'm ashamed of what I did, but I've used drugs a couple of nights to keep myself calm.

What if someone did something to me? I'd rather not want to remember it. Something might have happened in one of those nights without me even knowing. Luckily after those nights my clothes were still intact, so it's safe to say that nothing happened. Only for as far as I know.

Molly called me back a little later and named the hospital where my family currently is.

It made me question everything. Do they still like me? Do they want to see me? Do they want me back? Have I turned into the black sheep of the family? So many questions run through my mind as Molly tries to get my attention back on her.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm thinking about it. Do you think I should go?" I ask her.

"I think you should. Your family needs you, Pippa. I'm sorry for your loss." She says.

I nod, though she can't see it.

"Good luck at the hospital."

I thank her and hang up the phone, putting it back in my pocket. I sigh and think about the pros and cons of going to the hospital.

I realize that I should be there. Nick is dead. He's not coming back. I need my family.

I take my phone from my pocket again and call Molly to ask her if she can take me. The hospital isn't nearby.

Molly agrees and not much later she pulls up.

"Thank you for bringing me." I rest my head on the window and watch the streets go by.

We get to the hospital and Molly parks the car. She gives me a worried look and hugs me. She tells me that everything will be okay and will work out.

"I'm only a phone call away if you need to talk. I don't think you need it, because I know for sure your family loves you. They can't lose another child and sibling." I nod, hoping she's right.

I exit the car with my backpack I had been carrying around ever since I walked away.

I can't believe my eyes when I see Frankie sitting on a bench. I decide to walk over to him first.

"Is the seat next to you taken?" I carefully ask.

His head shoots up and his eyes widen when he sees me. "Pippa?" He asks shocked.

I can't speak, so I raise both hands as if to say I'm still me.

"Oh my God." He stands up quickly and embraces me. He wraps his arms all around me to make sure I can't run away.

He starts repeating how much he missed me. After about five minutes he lets go and I guide him back on the bench and sit next to him.

"How? Why?" Tears form in my eyes.

"Nick is gone, Tank. I couldn't..." He smiles a little. The pain visible in his eyes. How can he smile after this.

"Pippa. He's not.." I cut him of while trembling.

"He's dead. He's gone and he'll never get back." Frankie smiles trying to calm me and tries to cut me off to say something.

"He's alive." Frankie manages to get through. "What?" I don't think I heard correct.

"He's not dead. He's not awake, but stable. He'll wake up. Where did you get that idea?"

"I... It's all over the news. They all say he's dead and succeeded. How?" I look into his eyes to see if I can find the truth, but I can't.

"I don't know why. But Nick is alright. How are you?" He immediately turns protective.

"I'm alright. Just can't figure my thoughts out. I thought he was dead and that I was never going to see him again." I sob.

"It's okay. I thought he was going to die too. It was the scariest thing I've ever been through." He wraps his arms around me again.

"Do you feel like going to see mom and dad?" I shrug. "I'm scared they'll disown me." I tell him.

Frankie shakes his head. "Why would they do that?" He asks me.

"Aren't they mad at me?" I ask him. He shakes his head.

"No. They are upset, worried, scared and most of all angry at themselves, thinking they failed you as your parents." I let the words sink in.

"They haven't. I was wrong, but now I know I needed to do this to realize some things. I'm done with running away. I needed some time to figure some things out and I did."

"Good. Do you want to go see them?" I nod hesitantly.

"Let's go." He stands up and reaches his hand out in front of him to help me get up.

I take his hand and he takes my backpack, carrying it on his shoulder.

He held my hand all the way into the elevator.

He rests against the wall of the elevator while we wait for it to go up to the second floor.

The doors slide open and he takes my hand again. He's really scared I might freak and run off. I'm glad he does it. I don't trust myself right now and he does give off some reassurance that everything will be okay.

We stop somewhere in the middle of the hallway.

"It'll be okay. Just be cool. You missed them right?" I nod. "So let them know that. Let them know how sorry you are, because you are." I nod again. "Thank you." I give him a hug. He once again takes my hand and leads me into the waiting room where our parents are.

"Mom? Dad?" I sob both words out from the entrance of the room.

Their heads turn to us without a second thought.

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