It's Not Cool | Jonas Brothers

Chapter 50

I'm so so so sorry for the long wait. I know I'm too late, but my schedule is really killing me right now...

Pippa's P.O.V.
I felt numb when they put Nick on suicide watch. He's overdosed on insulin and not by accident. He did it to himself. I sat outside on the front porch and listened to some depressing music, not finding the motivation or will to put on some happier music.

Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder. I take out one of the earpieces to listen to Joe. "Hey. You okay?" I nod in response. "Yeah, just wondering why he would do such thing to himself." He nods.

"I know. It's a lot to take in and I don't know what to do with the information either." Now I nod.

It's silent. "Well, I should go back inside. I'll leave you to your thoughts. But please. If anything.. Talk to someone. Okay? I can't afford having you go through the same thing?" I want to remark by implying that he thinks I will do something to myself, but I don't have the heart. In any other situation I would have given him a remark for his concern about me.

After a couple of hours, the sun is starting to set and I feel like I've been out here enough. The battery of my phone is slowly draining, leaving me with an almost empty phone.

I went inside, put my phone on a charger in the kitchen and was about to turn into the living room when I hear the quiet voices of Joe and Kevin deeply in conversation.

I listen in for a few sentences, before deciding to go to my room. I really need some sleep.

I grab my phone from its charger, deciding I don't want to leave it in the kitchen for anyone else to find, and head up to my room.

Getting ready for bed, I brush my teeth and put on some comfy pajamas.

I woke up and I felt like throwing up. I had a nightmare and it scared me. I can't sleep alone anymore. I wonder if Joe would accept me like he used to do.

One way to find out.

I get out of bed and tiptoe my way into Joe's room, closing the door without a sound.

I see that Joe had taken up one side of the bed, meaning I didn't have to wake him up.

I lie down next to him "You had a nightmare?" Joe asks me tiredly. Apparently, he had already been awake or I woke him up. "I did. I can go if you don't want me to stay."

"No. Stay." He pulls me towards him and makes me snuggle up to him. His protective arms around me.

I woke and figured I wasn't in my own room, because the light from the window came from somewhere else.

I looked around to see all the laundry around and the mess Joe made from his room.

No need to question if it's Nick's or Joe's room. Nick and I are more alike. Neat and organized.

I got up, taking Joe's arm from around me gently to try and keep him asleep.

Walked down the stairs, entered the kitchen and sat down. Danielle and mom are preparing breakfast for everyone.

I sit down at the table and watch them work.

Slowly dad, Joe and Kevin also enter the kitchen. Frankie is still in bed, probably sleeping in. We got off from school when they heard about Nick. They don't know about it being a suicide though. We want to keep that a secret, not knowing what the media will do to him if that news gets out. Our parents want him to make his own decision if he wants it to be public knowledge.

Right now, everyone thinks he is just recovering in the hospital, not that he isn't, but they don't know it's on suicide watch. Not that he could have come home if it had not been a suicide. He's weak and sick from the insulin overdose. Not feeling too well.

My mom runs her hand through my hair as she set the table for all of us. I'm on my phone, texting Molly. She's been texting me a lot, always wondering how I'm doing. she really became a sister of mine that I never had by blood. Danielle also being another sister of mine.

I text her how I've been doing. In all honesty, I could have been worse. My family hugs me every time they see me. They missed me. I feel terrible for what I've done to them, but I don't regret running off. It was good for me. It made me realize a few things about myself.

I can save myself without my brothers. I can take care of myself without my family there to catch me. It became a lot easier as soon as Molly came in the picture, but I don't regret meeting her. She's given me such a different insight of my life and how life can be without having someone to pay for everything and protect me every second of the day the way my life had always been.

I know how that sounds, and I know I've been babied, even if my brothers and I always have had these brotherly/sisterly fights. I knew I could always count on them and I did when I needed it.

I'd never really been on my own. Not that I minded it, because it was normal to me to have my brothers ready for me at a call. They've always been one call away until they got their feud with the band and each other.

I pick at my food. I can't seem to eat. Mom gives me a reassuring smile. That it's okay if I can't eat now. But it's not. It's not okay. They shouldn't have to worry about me now. They've got enough trouble and mess going on. I shouldn't add up to it. I am their problem, which is what I hate so much. I'm only causing problems and I never solve them.

I put my fork down, not wanting to spend anymore time flipping the pieces of pancake around on my plate and walk away from the table, ignoring Joe's calls for me. Simply because I can't respond to him right now.

Thank you for reading!! Let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions, please let me know and I'll try to work them into my story!

I'll try to combine my schedule a little better with writing, and I hope to update sooner next time! Thank you!!