It's Not Cool | Jonas Brothers

Chapter 25

Pippa's P.O.V.
Shifting and turning in bed, I figured I'm not going to get any more sleep.

I look over at my alarm clock to read the time. 4:30. We went to bed at around 1:15. No sleep.

I sigh and push my covers off me. I dress quickly, knowing I'm not going back to bed before today starts.

I walk down the hallway and walk past a couple of closed bedroom doors.

Alone in the kitchen, I set myself a cup of tea. I grab my phone for a second to check my messages, but there are none.

I wait for the water to boil. I pour the water in a cup and add a teabag.

I sit down at the table with my tea.

It's quiet in the house. It's calming. I've got so much on my mind. All to do with myself and with Nick.

We could have lost him last night. We can still lose him. I can't live with myself if I know I lost him for good. When he was off, at least I knew he was alive and living his life while I kept tabs on him through mom and dad. But if he dies...

I'd probably end myself too. He keeps me sane when I can't. I'd be off doing something stupid. I'd hurt my family more.

Arms from around me wrap themselves around my body.

I jump and look behind me to see Nick.

"Hey." I tell him and he greets me back.

"There is more hot water in the kettle if you want a cup." He nods his head and gets himself a cup.

He sits down across from me. We're very awkward around each other now.

"Do you want to die?" I plainly ask him.

I don't know what else to ask him. My thoughts are numb.

He keeps quiet, staring sadly at the table.

He finally shakes his head. "I don't want to die, but I don't want this either."

"But it's what you got Nick. You've got Diabetes. That's how it is. It's never going to change. You know that." I angrily reply.

"I know that Pippa!" He yells at me.

I close my eyes to try and contain my anger. He doesn't deserve to be snapped at.

"I know that Nick. I know. Trust me. I know I don't feel what you feel, but I know what it does to you. And I hate what it does to you. It makes you a different person. You're a whole other Nick. It's like I don't know you anymore. I miss you. I miss my older brother who would sit with me. I miss my older brother who would just be there for me. I know I've been a terrible sister in return. I know all that." I say.

"You haven't been a terrible sister. It goes both ways." Is all he says.

"Really? I speak my heart and give you almost everything on my mind and that's all you can say? I can't believe you right now." I throw my arm down on the table.

"I don't know what else to say, Pippa. I want to make things better for you, I really do, but I don't know how." He rubs his face in frustration.

He continues "I want to be there for you, but I don't know how. I can't make it better for you. I want to be there, I try to be there, but I get so caught up in my own problems and my own mistakes..." He apologizes.

I stand up, walk around the table and hug him. "This is all I need from you. A hug. I know you don't have it any easier. We're both putting a lot of pressure on our family. We need to stick together. Like how it used to be. Remember?" Nick nods.

"So what do we do now?" He asks me. I shrug. "We wait." I let go of him. Just at that second Kevin and Joe enter the kitchen. "This is what we had to wait for? Nick jokes. Both of us burst out in laughter, Joe and Kevin looking at us as if we've turned insane.

Secretly they want to jump in joy to see us laugh genuine laughs.

"What's so funny? Do I've something on my face or what?" Joe asks us. Nick and I share a look. "Yeah, you've got something..." I point at my face to tell him where he's got something. Right above his lips.

Joe starts wiping his face madly, being the vain boy he is. Nick and I laugh, Kevin slowly catching on to our plan.

"Is it gone?" Joe asks us. I shake my head. "No, you still got a bit of..." I again finish the sentence pointing towards my lips. "Get it off!" Joe demands. "Let me." I walk over and wipe his mouth with my sweater. "it's not coming off, Joe. What did you do?" I look closer to his face. I'd been planning to make fun of him.

"Oh wait. It's one little hair. You might want to pull it out, Joe. You can't grow a mustache." Kevin and Nick both double themselves in laughter, while I try to keep myself as sincere and innocent as I can while fooling Joe.

"I hate you." Joe walks off. Frankie had entered the kitchen already and handed Joe a sandwich, having prepared it while we were joking. "Thank you. You're my favorite Frankie." Joe says while shooting us a dirty look.

"I'm always everyone's favorite." Frankie says, acting like a girl and flipping back the little amount of hair he has.

Mom and dad enter the kitchen. "Frankie is my favorite." Mom says. "Why?" We all stare at mom in shock. Moms aren't supposed to choose favorites, right?

"It's easy. Frankie is the easiest. He was also the easiest baby out of you all." Mom grins.

Frankie punches his fist in the air in victory.

"I've always known it." Frankie wanders off.

Joe, Kevin, Nick en I share looks, not really knowing what to say right now after we discovered the truth.

Joe can't hold his laugh anymore and before we know it, we're all laughing along with him.