It's Not Cool | Jonas Brothers

Chapter 46

Sorry for the wait. This took me way longer than what I wished for... hope you like it!

Frankie's P.O.V.
Mom and dad stood up and I pushed Pippa a little forward into the waiting room. Our parents seem really calm, mom's tears have stopped, but she's still sad.

She walks over to Pippa and embraces her in a tight hug. "I can't believe your back." Mom cries.

"I'm so so sorry mom. I won't do it again." Pippa apologizes. "You better not." Mom laughs, trying to make a joke. She lets go of Pippa and let dad give Pippa a hug. I look around the room to see Danielle. She stood up to give Pippa a hug as well.

"Thank you for coming back." I heard her whisper. "I'm sorry for leaving." She apologizes again. She's only been apologizing ever since she showed up outside.

"We'll talk about it later. We're more than happy you're back." Dad says gently as mom gives Pippa another hug.

"Where're Joe and Kev?" I ask them. "Kevin went for a little walk and Joe went to the bathroom." Dad answers. Pippa nods in response.

Joe enters the room, but freezes upon entering. "What the ...?" He tried not to curse, being considerate of our parents, but I know all the words that leave his mouth as soon as they aren't around.

Pippa stands up, not really sure how to take his question. Joe runs over to hug her. They stay in the hug for a long time. Joe isn't ready to let her go.

"How is Nick?" Joe asks us while still holding tightly onto Pippa.

"We might be able to see him soon. He will still be unconscious." Joe nods in response.

It looks different when I see Pippa hug our other family members. She looks different. More raw. She's probably seen stuff that she shouldn't have. She hasn't had the medication she needs to not be scared.

She looks tiny. She didn't eat enough. I just wonder if she did that on purpose or if she didn't have the needs to get what she needed to survive.

I was so happy to see her outside of the hospital. I thought she would be dead or at least near death. From what I've seen already, she looks much better than how I thought she would look.

My sister is alright. Now I need my brother to be alright. I need my family back. We all used to be so happy, but life got in the way of that.

"Do you think Kevin will be back soon?" Joe had finally let go of her.

"He should be back soon yes. Why?" Pippa shrugs. "I missed him." Right at that, Kevin walks into the waiting room.

"Pippa? I missed you so much!" Kevin explains. He picks her up and spins her around. She giggles during it, not really expecting that to happen.

"Can we go see Nick?" After a couple of awkward hours, she decides to break the silence.

I can't take the uncomfortable silence anymore. No one answered Pippa, not really sure how to tell her this.

"How did he do it?" She decides to ask. No one dares to answer. Mom starts crying again, dad is staring into nothingness, Kevin is cuddling sadly with Danielle and Joe is finding ways in his head to get to Nick without the permission granted by his doctor.

"He didn't do it. The only thing that happened is that he couldn't control his Diabetes and it got the better of him." I explain to her after I looked around the room to see that no one else was going to answer. She nods and with that the conversation is over again.

I don't have the heart to explain to her how he did it himself. How he overdosed over time with insulin shots. She'll get to know with time and I don't want her to know from me. Not right now. She needs to hear it from our parents or maybe even from Nick himself, but I don't feel as if it is my place to tell her this news.

I can't even think about what Pippa might have thought. She thought he was dead. What would she have done to herself if I had to confirm it. To tell her that Nick had died. Would she have tried to kill herself as well?

The bathroom I entered is dirty. At least the mirrors are clean so I can see myself in them. I look horrible. I haven't slept in over forty-eight hours and I don't know what to do with myself anymore.

It feels like my family isn't my family anymore. I know I can't complain, but Kevin has moved out and is starting his own family. It's only a matter of time before Joe will find his perfect woman, move out and start his family. Pippa left us, returned just now, but when will she be gone again? Is she still my sister?

And Nick tried to leave us. When will he try again? Because nothing has changed. He is still my Diabetic older brother who hates his life because of it. Who wants to be perfect, or tries until he is perfect and it's not working out.

I don't want to find him again and have to call someone because of it. I wasn't home alone, but I couldn't get anything out of my throat. What if I had waited a minute longer? What if I could have called faster and they could have helped him faster? What then? All these questions, they make my brain hurt. All these what ifs make it impossible for me to live my life. All these moments, they make and break my family. It's not worth it.

Nothing is worth the pain and hurt we all suffer through. No one should go through this. It's not fair. I know my dad is from church and God will give you what you can handle. Well, if that's the case, He thinks that we are a strong family, when in reality, we're not.

How long until this? How long until that? It's not going to get better. It'll only get worse.