It's Not Cool | Jonas Brothers

Chapter 26

Nick's P.O.V.
After Pippa went upstairs, mom went up too to do put the freshly washed and dried laundry away. Dad went off too, towards his home office.

I can't understand how we'd been laughing just now. I hurt myself last night. I don't know what's going on, but it is definitely weird and definitely freaking me out.

"Nick, don't freak, but we want to take you to the doctors for a check-up." If you don't want me to freak, don't start your sentence by saying that!

"What? Why?" I ask Kevin. He'd made the announcement mentioned before.

"Because we want to make sure we treated your wounds correctly. We don't want them to get infected. And maybe we could tell them about your struggles. Maybe they have a way for you to make things simpler." Kevin suggests. He sounds calm and collected like the Kevin I know.

I start shaking my head vigorously. "No! No way I'm going there. Forget it!" I run from the table and upstairs into Pippa's room who jumps from the sudden entering and slamming the door.

She sees my frightened expression and smiles sadly. She takes off her headphones. "What happened?" She asks me after regaining a steady breath. I had caused her to have a mini heart attack.

"They want to take me to a doctor." I tell her. She pats a spot on the bed next to her, telling me to sit down. I obey and sit down. She takes my hands in hers before she speaks.

"Why is that a bad thing? Doctors are here to make you better." She says.

I huff "Like they can cure my Diabetes."

"They can't, but they made having Diabetes easier for you. You're not the tiny, ill looking, water slurping boy you were when you were thirteen and pre diagnoses." She's got a point, but still, the doctors?

"Would it be better if I went along with you?" She asks me, looking me in the eye to decipher a lie if I am to answer her question.

"I'd like all of you to be there, except for Frankie, I don't want him to see me like this." I look down ashamed. I don't want her to see me like this either, but I can't push her away now. I have to have her with me. I need her like she needed me when we went for her diagnoses. I know this is not even in the slightest a relatable situation, but I need my siblings.

We aren't family if we can't even bring up the decency to support each other through tough times.

"Can I see?" She asks unsurely if she should. I nod, not wanting her to see it, but knowing she will either way.

She gently puts one hand down and slowly rises my sleeve up to the point where all my cuts are visible.

She hesitantly glides her fingers over the cuts, pulling them away when feeling the bumpiness.

"Shit, Nick..." She looks up at me. "This is bad. Why?" She looks like she is about to cry, but so am I.

I shrug. "I don't know. I couldn't do it anymore. I didn't want it anymore." I sob.

She pulls me close and into a hug. Pulling my head into her chest, locking it with her arms. I hide my face in her hoody as I cry. Why am I so weak?

I can't be weak in front of Pippa. She needs to see how strong I am. She's got to know that she can cry on my shoulder if she needs to, not the other way around!

"It'll be okay." She whispers.

I start laughing manically. "Do you know how many times I've heard that in the last few months? If I'd gotten a penny for every single time, I'd be rich."

"Well, you've got no right to complain, you've got enough money." She jokes. I nod, my head still on her chest and her arms still wrapped tightly around my head and my back.

She rubs my upper arm to comfort me.

"I think Kevin is right, though. I think you should check it out before they get infected or something. You will only hate yourself more if you let that happen."

"Why? Do you know something that I don't?" She sighs.

"I might have let cuts and wounds from the bullying heal unattended. I must have gotten at least a few minor infections from them, and let me tell you, it hurts. Get help, Nick."

I sit up, releasing myself from her hold.

"Only if you all stay by my side." I reach out my hand for her to take to promise me that she will stick with me.

She takes it and smiles. "Let's go." She wipes the remaining tears from my face before we make our way downstairs.

"What are you up too, Frankie?" She asks him when we enter the kitchen where Joe, Kevin and him still are.

"I'm staying home. I don't want to smother Nick. And I don't think he needs four people with him." He laughs a little, knowing his older brother well.

I squeeze his shoulder as a thanks.

"Alright, let's go." My heart sinks.

Joe and Kevin grab their coats and Pippa starts making her way out but stops in her track when she notices that I'm not following.

She turns to see me glued to the floor.

She walks over and takes my hand. "We will all stick with you." She promises me and takes my hand to pull me to the car.

"Bye Tank." She yells before exiting the kitchen.

"See you home soon!" He yells after us, somehow, I feel like he's yelling exactly this after us to reassure me that it's a checkup for nothing and that I'll be home within a few hours at the most. I hope he's right.

Entering the car, Kevin is driving, Joe has got shotgun, Pippa is in the seat behind Joe and I'm behind Kevin.

Kevin shoots me a reassuring smile in the rearview mirror and drives off when we are all buckled in.

Joe took control over the radio, connected his phone, and music starts blasting through the speakers. Joe, Kevin and Pippa sing along. Pippa sees that I'm not singing and starts poking and tickling me until I do.

I don't think I've had this much fun in months!

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