It's Not Cool | Jonas Brothers

Chapter 40

*Trigger warning*

Pippa's P.O.V.
Molly is a nice girl. She let me sleep on her couch for a few days and she helped me in a lot of ways. Molly's boyfriend had found out about my slight lie. I didn't get a lot of food while I was living in the streets, that's true, but he found out I hadn't been searching for food.

So Molly and her boyfriend had been helping me with my eating disorder. They helped me find the right foods and helped me eat again. I hadn't improved much, but I was doing much better after a few days.

I couldn't stay with them though. I couldn't risk them calling someone to take me back to my family. I don't want to go back. I figured out what life is and there's so much more I need to figure out and I can't do that whilst being with my family. I know there are better ways to do that, such as a trip or a sabbatical or anything like that and I could at least leave a message for my family occasionally, to show them I'm still alive. But no. I had decided to take this road. The wrong road.

Even though I don't stay at Molly's place anymore, I do keep in touch with them. They give me updates about my missing on the news, updates my family posts on whatever Social media account, leaves me some food every now and then to last a few more days.

I couldn't be more grateful for their help. They help me in every way possible and it's heartwarming that people are taking their time to help me. I'm nothing. I don't deserve the kindness they give me.

They hugged me if they saw I needed one, they gave me a pillow and a blanket if they figured out that I was tired. They were a family to me. My family, even though I don't want to call them that anymore, wouldn't do that for me. Mom and dad were too caught up with Joe, Nick and Kevin and they were too caught up with the band and themselves to even care about me. Only Frankie would have cared, but he didn't do such things. Too caught up with his own things.

I wonder why Nick never cared. We were inseparable. What happened to us? Oh right. The band happened and he cut me out completely even before his diagnoses of Diabetes. He distanced me from him. He didn't distance himself from me, but he pushed me away. Out of the family. Which is why I can only think that they deserve this. They had written me off a long time ago. I just now acted up on it.

I don't care if they miss me or are hurt because I'm gone. They created this situation themselves. They could have taken a different approach, but no. They scared me away and now they are paying the price. Good for them.

Are they paying? That's what I'm questioning. Yes, they look hurt in the media, but no one knows what's going on behind closed doors. Does the media ever know? They didn't know that my brothers were back with the band until they released their first single and got a tv appearance in a popular late-night show.

I hadn't reached out to Molly in a while and I want to know what's going on in the news and if they figured something out about my whereabouts. I figured if they know, they'd release that news to ask people in that area to keep their eyes extra opened.

I walk around for a little to find a store that has some tv in front of the windows. Only one of them is showing the news. My timing is perfect. The news just got on, but there's nothing on me yet. Maybe people are starting to forget about me of have given up on finding me alive and went back to their own lives.

The Jonas name appeared on the screen and I sighed. Here we go again.

But my eyes widen when my picture and my name don't appear on the screen. It's not my name, but a Jonas name does show up on the screen. It's my brother's name.

'Nick Jonas' suicide.'

"What?" I place both hands on the glass and look through the window. That did not just show up on the news. I step back from the window and tears form in my eyes and I start to shake my head not believing what I just saw. Nick killed himself? He's dead. I'll never see him again. It can't be true. It just can't.

I run away from the store and find a different one with magazines and newspapers. It's one news show, right? They can lie to get viewers. They lie all the time to get more popularity. Even if they use fake news. They don't care about the people's feelings they're hurting.

I sink to my knees to read multiple covers of magazines.

'Nick Jonas suicidal?'

'Nick Jonas dead?'

'Nick Jonas killed himself'

'Nick Jonas follows little sister Pippa Jonas'

'What did Nick Jonas do?'

'Where is Nick Jonas?'

'NICK JONAS TOOK HIS OWN LIFE'

'Jonas Brothers officially over because Nick Jonas died'

'What happened to Nick Jonas?'

'Will Pippa Jonas return after the death of Nick Jonas?'

'Nick Jonas' suicide confirmed'

'Nick Jonas' tragic death'

Tears form in my eyes as I once again back away from the news.

My older brother who I trusted with my life.

Why did he do this? Did he try to kill himself or did his Diabetes get the better of him? I know he tried a few weeks before I left, but he got over that.

He was so happy and especially near our birthdays. He couldn't shut up about anything.

I was walking outside, thoughts racing my mind. I don't think the news hit me yet. My eyes are dry. I hadn't shed a tear yet. They formed in my eyes, but they never left my eyes.

What do I do now? My best friend slash brother is gone. I know I hated him and wished for him to be miserable after he, Joe and Kevin had left us.

If he's dead, that means it will never be the same again. We'll never have family dinners. It'll never be me and my three older brothers. It'll never be the five or seven of us ever again.

Without wanting it, a sob escapes my throat and I sink down onto the ground again as I hear the clouds rumble above me. Raindrops start to escape from those same clouds and slowly poor onto my head and on the ground next to me. The rain increases by the second until within a minute I'm soaked from that said rain. The weather matching with the one thought left on my mind. Nick is dead.