It's Not Cool | Jonas Brothers

Chapter 38

Frankie's P.O.V.
I couldn't watch Joe fall apart. He's been my great rock through all of this and if he gives up, then I give up completely.

I act like I've given up, but it's all anger and concern for Pippa.

I'm angry with her for leaving. I'm worried for why she left. I'm worried for how she's doing. I'm concerned she doesn't want to come back if we find her. I'm scared she is dead.

I heard someone walk upstairs after me and I figured Kevin would come and cheer me up for the millionth time.

I was caught by surprise when dad entered my room.

"How are you feeling Tank?" He asks me. I shrug. "I've given up a few weeks ago, but I held onto Joe for the hope he had, hoping Joe was right, but hearing him give up. It's just..." I can't even explain to my dad what that does to me.

He nods and sits next to me on my bed. "It must be harder for you. She is your daughter after all. Seeing all of us like this, having to worry about us and her while she's all alone." I say.

"That's true. It's very difficult, but I wouldn't want any other kids. I love you all dearly." I smile at him.

"And she's as much your sister as she is my daughter. Never forget that. I'd be as worried if you had decided to go AWOL." I smile, not really used to my dad using such words. It's funny, despite the situation we're dealing with here.

"Do you think we'll be okay? Even if we might never get her back?" I ask my dad. He nods his head. "Do we have any other choice?" I shake my head in response.

"No, we don't. But you know what Frankie. That doesn't matter. We've got to fight for our family. You know how everyone is right now. Your mom is really upset and doing her best to help you and your brothers with everything you need. Joe is trying really hard to help everyone to distract himself from his own feelings. Kevin is neglecting Danielle. I might even send him home later today. Even if I have to use force." He pauses and we both laugh. He succeeded at lifting our moods.

He continues. "Nick is. I don't even know what to say. He's taking this really hard and we all need to be there for him. We've all known he hasn't been okay for a while, even before Pippa decided to run away. We've ignored that. But no matter what happens with Nick. Nothing is your fault okay. You've done everything in your power to help us all. I'm so proud of you boy. You have a heart of pure gold." Dad has always been really good with speeches.

I never guessed I would get a lecture from him like this.

"When are we going to get Nick the help he needs? Why didn't we do something already?" I ask dad.

"To be honest with you, and I'm only telling you this because I think you're allowed to know, is that we've been living in a slur. Everyday is revolved around Pippa and keeping everyone as sane as possible. But to get Nick the help he deserves. We've been ignorant to the signs. Like with his Diabetes. He's strong enough to handle it himself. He's proved it many times. When Nick asked for help, it was a shock to us all. You know Nick is not someone to cling to someone else or to ask for help in any way." I nod to my dad's explanation.

It's very common knowledge about Nick. Even the fans know.

"But doesn't it hurt you to see him like this?" I ask him. Dad looks at me.

"Of course it hurts. You know how much it hurts as a brother, right?" I nod, knowing how much it hurts me to see Nick like this. Like with this episode he had in the bathroom. I really thought he was going to die. I didn't think he'd live to see another day or to deny another hug again, while he secretly likes how I hug him. It makes him feel good, knowing I want to hug him because I look up to him.

"And now imagine he is your child." Dad says. I can't do that. I can't imagine my child to feel like that or doing this to him- or herself. I'd feel useless if my child runs off without a trace. I'd have failed my job as a parent to keep my child safe. Is that how my parents are feeling? Like they failed us?

"It's common to feel like you've failed your child. You feel like you've failed them before they're even born. All we can do is take our experiences and make the best of it. It doesn't always turn out well. But we're really blessed with our family. Everyone is healthy. Yes, I know Nick has Diabetes, but he's living with it. The bond you kids have is really something to be jealous of." He's right. Kevin is over all the time due to our strong bonds. Joe and Nick even moved back home to help Nick and secretly Pippa without her knowing it.

"Do you think Pippa is safe?" I ask dad. He nods. "How are you so sure?" He hadn't even hesitated his answer.

"Pippa is my little girl. She is the smartest girl I know, besides your mother of course." He adds the last part, making me laugh. "She obviously planned this very well. She knows what she's doing. All you kids are very determined when you put your minds on something. Pippa not excluded. Do you remember when you wanted that toy robot. You even started doing extra chores for a dollar to get the amount of money together. Not that we'd only given you a dollar for every chore. Because every time we gave you a dollar for a chore, we'd sneak into your room and put up to five or ten more dollars in your piggy bank. We all thought it was sweet that you tried so hard to save the money together and we didn't think it was fair to only give you a dollar for each chore."

I smile remembering doing those chores and how happy I'd be every time they handed me a dollar. I wanted them to be proud of me for saving the money to get me my own toys.