It's Not Cool | Jonas Brothers

Chapter 17

A slightly longer one
Enjoy!

Nick's P.O.V.
"Hey." I enter the bathroom to find Pippa in front of the mirror with a washcloth.

"Why can't we wash off bruises?" Pippa asks.

I laugh. She turns to me with a serious look on her face. My laughter quiets down.

"Oh, you're actually serious. Sorry. Bruises are like wounds, but without broken skin." I tell her.

"I know that." She answers sarcastically. "I'll be stuck with them for days if not weeks." She adds showing me all her bruises. I wince at the sight of the big bruise on her stomach.

"How bad is it? The bullying." I ask her worriedly. "Shoving me, tripping me, verbally abusing me, throwing props of paper with hurtful stuff. Stuff like that." She tells me.

She stops cleaning the once bloodied mess on her stomach and dries herself up with a towel. She lets her shirt fall back into place before walking past me out of the bathroom and most likely into her bedroom.

I follow her there to see her sit down on her bed. She motions for me to come over and sit next to her.

We used to do this all the time. Sit on one of our beds and just enjoy each other's company.

Doing nothing but sitting, maybe thinking, sometimes small talk. We read or we enjoy ourselves on our phones or computers. It's always comfortable and silent. The way we both like it.

I think we're going to talk right now. There are a few things I really want to know about the bullying at her school.

I sit at the end of her bed.

"How long has this been going on for?" She shrugs. "For as long as I can remember." She answers casually. As if it is nothing.

"Why didn't you tell us?" I ask her. "Like you could have helped me." She laughs sadly.

"Is the bullying why you stopped eating?" She shrugs and looks down to avoid eye contact with me.

"I don't know." She whispers. "I don't know anything lately. Life is really messed up." I laugh at her.

"Welcome to life." I tell her. She starts laughing with me.

"I guess it is. I know it has something to do with the bullying, but it's not all." She explains.

"I don't really know why I stopped. I wasn't hungry. The hurtful words made me want to dissapear. I wanted to hide. I hid during lunch time, which is why I barely ate at school and I barely ate at home because I was always busy with 'homework.'" She uses air quotes when she says homework.

She continues "Mom allowed it because my grades hit rock bottom as soon as you all disappeared. I didn't want to be at school, I didn't want to be home. Everyone at home was sad and I couldn't walk around at school without being bullied. I was sad. I had Frankie, but no one else. Frankie went through the same things at home and he's only twelve. I didn't want to drag him down with me and my extra school problems. So I forgot to eat and when I did, I usually ate a lot too because of the hunger I suddenly felt. It was always too much. I almost always threw up after I ate." She explains.

"When you came back, all I wanted to do was yell at you, scream at you, beat you, I wanted to hurt you all. I ignored you. I didn't want to see you. But you came home and I saw the regret and no matter how much I wanted to hurt you, I couldn't do it to Frankie. He'd been wishing for this as soon as you had walked out the front door." She finishes.

"Why did you leave?" She turns to look at me. I looked back at her, but I couldn't answer. I have no excuse, I thought she knew that.

"Tell me. You put me through hell, the least you can do is to tell me why." She says.

I shake my head. "I can't. There is no excu..." She cuts me off.

"Bullshit! That's bullshit. Why couldn't you pick up the phone? Why couldn't you text me? It would have taken a minute of your precious time. Sometimes you are such a princess." She yells at me. She stands up to be more intimidating.

"What do you want me to say? I apologized, I'm here for you now. Can't you see that you aren't the only one struggling with life?" I snap at her, standing up myself.

She looks shocked. "Get out." She says trying to intimidate me with a low voice and points towards the opened bedroom door. "No, not like this. We have to talk." I tell her.

"I've got nothing more to say to you. I hate you. Get out!" She yells at me again. She starts pushing me, trying to shove me out the door harshly.

"No." I stay put. "Like your life is such a hell." She exclaims.

"It's not a hell. Neither is yours, but you're too stubborn right now." I tell her. She slaps me in the face and I can see instant regret in her eyes before they turn angry again.

"You are not the only one with a tough life, Pippa. I have been struggling too." I tell her softly.

"But you don't see me running away." She exclaims while pushing me again.

"No, but I don't want to make your situation worse by dropping everything on your shoulders." I explain.

"Like at the hospital? You had promised me when you came back that you were here for me. And when I needed you most, you weren't there." She carries a lot of pain in her eyes. I wish I could take it all away. My thoughts wonder off and I know she noticed. She knows me too well.

"Nick. Focus." She snaps her fingers in front of my face to wake me.

"I know, but I couldn't do it. I had a breakdown in the bathroom and I knew I couldn't do that in front of you. You had mom, dad, Joe and Frankie. Kevin looked for me because I already had an episode outside before we entered the hospital." I try to explain, but she wouldn't have any of it.

"So? It might have distracted me and I could have helped you. You are so stupid sometimes." She throws her hands up in desperation. "You can be so stupid Nick. I don't care if you breakdown. I don't care if you cry or if you want to yell or vent or whatever. I just wanted you near and you couldn't do that for me. I was scared Nick. We could have been scared together. I wouldn't have cared." She says and ended up crying at the end of her rant. Tears cascading down her cheeks.

"Get out. I'm so angry with you right now. Get out of my room." She angrily yells at me again. And again, she starts pushing me towards the door, but fails, because I'm way stronger.

But fact is, I want to bury myself right now. So that's what I'm going to do.

We have a staring competition going on for about a minute, before I silently back away and I go to my own room, leaving her. I drop myself onto my bed and bury myself underneath my thick blankets to suffocate myself.

Thank you for reading! 😁