Dan and Amelia

practice and coffee

chapter 2:

it had been 8 weeks since Amelia had passed and all I could do is think of baby Amelia and that I have to be strong for her because she means so much to me. I woke up at 4am AJ was hungry and boy she can eat. my mum had to show me how to burp her so she didn't get wind or have bad gas. it was so weird because I felt like I was hurting her when I patted her back. I got out of bed putting my glasses on and picked her up she was crying but I knew once I started to sing her mothers song sleepsong to her she calms down..

"hey, hey daddy is here baby girl"

we walked into the kitchen and got her bottle out and I put in some hot water to warm it up. I remember the first time I did this I burnt her mouth and she screamed, lucky my mum was here to tell me it was ok and that she did the same thing with my sister and that it is ok because we put a little bit of ice on her gums and she was ok after that.

I cried when I did it because i should of known..

after the bottle was warm enough I tested it on my wrist and it was fine. I sat down on the lounge and hummed sleep song to AJ while she drank her bottle, I then burped her. after doing this for an hour she was asleep and I put her back to bed in her bassinet.. I tried to sleep but I couldn't because the right side of the bed was empty and Amelia wasn't there taking up most of the room..

I got up and headed into the music room I had the baby monitor and made sure I could check on her, I then sat at the piano and started to sing oblivion and think how Amelia loved it and she would come up behind me and sing along even though she said her voice wasn't good I still loved hearing her voice. I had a cry and I couldn't believe its been a week since she left me and AJ and how she will never see her daughter grow up and be a smart young lady...

I woke up when I heard AJ crying I checked the baby monitor and saw it was 7am I went up to see she was hungry and she needed a bath and changing..

after she was dressed in a pants and a pink T-shirt I came got dressed my self I couldn't have a shower until later on tonight, because she needed me and so I went to the kitchen and got her stuff out and put it in the nappy bag. Once she was all packed and ready we headed to see the guys they haven't seen her since she was born and I needed to see my mates. Being at home was driving me crazy..

Upon arriving at studio I had Aj in my arms and walked into the back room. I saw the guys they were all shocked to see me..

"Dan you are here mate" Woody said

"Daddy cat has brought his kitten to see us" Kyle spoke while being sassy.

"Dan you should of called we would of came round" Will spoke while turning his gutair then came and took Amelia from me and held her.

"I needed to be here with you guys and I hope you don't mind me bring Aj here she's been missing her uncles and I needed to get out of the house it was driving me crazy.."

We sat down and started talking the guys.. They were asking me how I was doing and I hated it because I just wanted to not have to cry infront of my best buddies and let them know I am falling apart with out Amelia.. They held Aj talking about how she's going to be playing such and such musical instrument and how she will be like me. I had to laugh and thought ok I needed this even if we don't do any practice we can still hang out but not like the old days. I was on my phone when the reminder for Amelia's due date popped up, I broke down and cried Will had Aj in his arms and I headed out to get some air. How can she be gone still, if she was still here I would be at home with her and helping her but she's not here and she will never be back..

After grieving and letting it all out, I went to see the guys all playing and talking to Aj I smiled at them all..

"Hey were going to head off I don't feel up to it"