If We Ever Get an Hour Together (A Van McCann fanfiction)

A Blessing in Disguise

When we got to the apartment Isabel was asleep already, the apartment silent. I turned off the living room light, and Van and I walked slowly to my room. He took off his jacket and laid down on top of the covers of my bed. "Are you ok?" My voice seemed amplified in my bedroom.

"Yeah, I'm fine." His voice sounded tired. "I am just wondering why I can never seem to put you at ease."

"What?" I looked at him. He stared at the ceiling, his jaw twitching.

"I'm just...messing around." Van sat up, yawning. He looked at me taking off my dress. I undid my bun, shaking my hair out. "Now you're messing with me." He stood up, his hands rubbing my shoulders. "You're not mad, are you?"

"No, of course not," I murmured, turning to look at him. He brought his lips against mine. I brought my arms around him tightly, taking a deep breath. Van kissed me again, his hair brushing against my skin while his hands pressed against my back. He tasted bitter. He cupped his hands around my neck, his lips tracing a path down the base of my throat. "Don't," I laughed breathily, feeling my stomach clench.

"Don't what?" Van asked innocently. He pulled me toward the bed, his hands grasping my face. I felt hot all over. Van's legs bumped against mine. His fingers brushed against my stomach, earning another laugh from me. I leaned back, savoring Van's warmth. "You know how long it's been since we've had sex?" Van murmured out of the blue, looking at me.

"I don't know, I don't keep a calendar baby." I grinned, but Van's face remained serious. "And I guess I didn't think you did either."

"Well no, but"- A phone interrupted Van. But it wasn't mine like always. Van closed his eyes, shaking his head and stepping away from me. He searched in his jacket pockets, finally answering the phone call. " 'Lo? No, not really a good time. It never would be for....yes well I'm finding it very hard to keep a good tone when....Yeah well I'll tell Lola when I see her. Ok." He hung up the phone quickly, running one hand through his hair and taking a deep breath.

"Who was that?" I tried to remain casual.

Van laughed. "Things were getting good between us and I'd rather not interrupt them."

"Who was it Van?" I persisted, watching his jaw remain hard.

"Fine fine, it was Nyree, but before you get mad"-

"What is she doing with your number?"

"Christ, well you wouldn't believe that Lola just gave it to her out of the blue. Last time I saw her I'd made her swear to leave me alone. Seriously Luz, I told her to get away from me."

I ground my teeth, straightening up. "Well I'm sure it can be hard to keep away from each other."

"What do you want me to do, block her? Fine, I will." Van made a show of unlocking his phone and going to her number. "There, will this do it for you?"

"It won't do anything for me if you're still going back home and seeing her."

"What, so you want me to avoid my friends now? It's not my fault she hangs around them. They know her, too." Van's voice was getting loud. "You think I'd cheat on you with Nyree?"

"Well, you cheated on Gabi...with me." I licked my lips. Van had grown silent after I'd said that. He stood up and picked up his shirt, sliding it back on.

"I cannot believe you'd have the fucking nerve. And here I was thinking you were maybe getting over it. But no matter what I fucking do...it just doesn't." Van turned toward the door.

"Van I didn't mean"-

"How many times have I heard you say that? I didn't mean it. It's not my fault. No, it's never your fault Luz. You're golden. It's me. I came and fucked up your life and your relationship with your sister! God, that'll never go away, will it?"