If We Ever Get an Hour Together (A Van McCann fanfiction)

Ever Really Want

I'd finally gotten to see the baby, and he was incredibly small. He kicked his little limbs in the air, and I watched him. My mouth was dry, Van leaning over next to me. "Can you believe it?" Van had whispered.

"No, he's so small." I watched him, finally letting out a breath. Here was the living being I had daydreamed about for the last few months. What would he look like? How would he be? His tiny eyes had barely been half-open, but there was a flush to his skin that made him look so so angelic. "He's so....good. He's so perfect." I'd balled up my hands and leaned into Van, his arm coming around me. "What's your name going to be?"

"We're so fu-screwed." Van had laughed. "We're obsessed with him and he doesn't even have a name. The nurses just keep calling him McCann."

"He's going to have my last name, too, for the record," I'd murmured.

"Whatever you want."

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I was discharged from the hospital and in a bad mood. I knew it was for his own good, but I couldn't stand the thought of the baby being here another month. "You can come visit him whenever you'd like." The nurses all hovered around me while I took my time changing.

Van insisted on holding onto me like I was incredibly weak. I was sore, sure, and my legs did feel a little loose, but I could walk. "We have to give him a name, they're not going to let us have him if we don't." Van and I walked up to the front desk of the maternity ward. My parents were headed to our apartment, but for what I wasn't sure.

I had laid awake the night before listening to the beeps of machines throughout the ward and trying to think of a name for this little angel-faced baby who was half Van and half me. It shot my nerves just to think about it. He was so fragile and he was all ours, and I couldn't even begin to imagine how this little being was going to change everything. Now, I straightened up with Van's arm still around me, holding the pen the nurse had given me. "I thought of a name, how does this sound?" I wrote it on a post-it note the nurse had given me with instructions on cleaning my wound.

"Really?" Van took the post-it and read it, mouthing it out until he was grinning. "I love it, actually."

"No, you don't. "

"I do, swear it." Van brought his hand to his heart, closing his eyes.

I rolled my eyes, biting my cheek and grinning. "Really?"

"Really baby, it's kind of badass really. Can I do the honors?" Van leaned against the desk, grabbing a pen and looking at me. I nodded, and Van filled in the empty line right underneath all of our information.

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Van:

Noah Rey McCann. It had a good ring to it, I had to give props to Lucia. She breathed out, crossing her arms in the passenger seat and looking out the window.

"Do you want to get coffee?" I scratched my nose, making sure to double-check before merging.

"Can I?" Lucia rubbed her forehead, nodding enthusiastically. "Please, I'd love you forever."

"If I knew it'd be that easy I wouldn't bother with the other stuff."

"Are you making dad jokes now?" Lucia ran a hand against my hair. I pushed my head back, feeling the familiar warmth spread through my body.

"Christ, of course not."

"I can't believe we're just supposed to leave our baby at the hospital for a month. An entire month." Lucia shook her head, probably firing up again. It had taken a while for the nurses to convince her everything was going to be fine.