If We Ever Get an Hour Together (A Van McCann fanfiction)

I'm Only Here

Van:

Lucia was silent until Isabel slammed the door shut. She glanced at me. "I didn't"-

"I'm not imagining that he looked like me, am I?" I looked at her.

"I don't know what you mean," Lucia grumbled, looking at her feet. "Come on, the food's ready."

"I'm sure you can understand why I'm not hungry anymore." I rubbed my nose. "I think I just want to go to bed."

"Van."

"I am definitely sure you can tell why I wouldn't be in the best mood after meeting your..." I waved a hand and went toward Lucia's room. I heard her banging pots in the kitchen, and finally she came into her bedroom, running her hands through her hair. She didn't say a word to me while she changed into her pajamas, brushing past me to go the bathroom. When she came back, Lucia laid next to me in bed, her arms locking around her pillow. "So, you have a type." I glanced at Lucia. 

"Shut up." She buried her face into the pillow, turning her back to me. 

"I just think it's interesting, is all." I stared at the ceiling, feeling Lucia shift next to me. I bit my cheek until I tasted rust.

Lucia's arm finally locked around my neck, pulling me into her. "You know it meant nothing."

"I know." I let myself be pulled, my hand finding hers. Her reassurance didn't really ease the ache as much as I thought, but maybe her body would.

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Lucia:

Van was up before me the next morning, sitting in the living room couch with a mug of tea in front of him. "Your tea selection is shit by the way." I laughed as I settled next to him, feeling his lips press against my cheek.

"I know."

"Like seriously, all I could scrape out was some old breakfast tea bag. It tastes like"-

"Shit," I finished for him.

"Yes." He took a small sip from his mug, cringing.

"You know, you could buy your own tea selection and leave it here for whenever you come visit." I felt his hand drum against my thigh.

His smile was the ultimate prize, a great big grin that lit his face up. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. In fact, you can leave some clothes. A toothbrush."

"Sounds like a tempting offer. I think I'll take it."

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Van left the next day for the rest of the stops the band would be making in America, promising to call immediately when his flight landed. I promised to go visit him in London soon. I had school to focus on right now, as the spring semester was starting.

The days passed in a flurry of writing and talking to Van. We gave each other grace periods, but soon we'd settled on a call/videochat schedule to make sure we weren't missing out on each other. Luca and my other friends reacted like Isabel when I told them Van and I had gotten back together. "Seriously Luz?" Well, Mary not as much. But they'd all have to get over it.

One morning about a month after Van had flown back to England, I bit into a piece of toast before school and was overcome with the strongest nausea I'd ever felt. I barely made it to the bathroom, throwing up until tears pricked my eyes and Isabel was knocking on the bathroom door.