If We Ever Get an Hour Together (A Van McCann fanfiction)

Took a While

Lucia:

Van stood at the end of my bed like I was going to kill him if he even sat down. "You know I always figured this would go a little...different." He watched me standing at the door. "Like, you wouldn't be so far away. I wouldn't have your sister as a girlfriend. You wouldn't have a boyfriend." 

"Small details," I responded crudely. "Besides, I wasn't expecting this to happen at all."

"That much lack of faith in me? Or in my feelings for you, rather?" His voice was monotone. Why was this so damn awkward?

"We don't have to...you know. I just. I don't know." I rubbed my face. Here was Van in front of me, finally, like I'd always imagined and wanted. But we stood far away from each other, afraid to do anything. 

"What's that thing girls absolutely love when a boy says? What would you do if I was right there next to you?" Van's smile broke me and I laughed. 

"Shut up." I rolled my eyes and took a step forward. Van swallowed, his jaw hard. His smile was gone. His eyes met mine and they looked bluer than ever. He rubbed his neck, and I focused on his hands. Slender pale hands waiting by his sides. "This would be so much easier if we had alcohol," I mumbled. 

"Always need that when you're with me?" He raised his eyebrows. 

"No, but I just feel braver. And then I can do what I've really wanted to do."

"How about you forget the alcohol and just show me then?" He stepped forward and brought one hand to my wrist. Outside, someone's car alarm started going off. I shut my eyes and leaned forward. Our legs bumped together. Van fell back onto the bed and pulled me down with him. I ended up on top of him. His hands hesitantly hovered over my thighs and I held them to me impatiently. 

"Why are you so...slow with me?"

Van laughed. "You know how long I've been waiting for this?" His voice was a deep quiet murmur. "I'm almost not sure where to start."

"Start? We started a long time ago." I shifted, still over him. His hands held my legs in place. 

"Hold on. I want to look at you. Your bedroom light is making you look...very angelic." Van's smile again, a great big smile. Outside, I heard Isabel's door open. The toilet flushed. "I don't want to feel like I'm hiding with you. Listening for your friend, while your sister thinks of me like a boyfriend. While you have an actual boyfriend." Van's voice was still quiet. "Maybe it'd be better if we hold off."

"Did you hold off with Gabi?"

"That's not fair," Van's hands stayed on my legs. I moved to slide off of him, but his hands held me there, inching upwards towards my waist. I shifted, feeling uncomfortably warm between my legs. His hands relaxed, and he moved one hand up to the side of my face. He moved back, propping himself by the elbows onto my pillows. "No, don't get off of me. That's not fair at all of you to say. Did you hold off with Nick?" 

"That's different."  His mouth right underneath mine. I moved down to kiss him, but he grabbed my face with both hands.

"How is it different?" 

"Because you never felt anything for Gabi."

"And you felt something for Nick?" 

"Yes, I did. He didn't treat me like a child or go for my sister," I snapped. 

"And how do you know I didn't feel anything for Gabi?" Van straightened up. "Maybe I like her about the same as I do you." 

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