Dont Tell Me What To Do. Midoriya X Bakugo

Chapter 15

WARNING: SLIGHT SEXUAL CONTENT, TRIGGER:SUICIDAL IDEATION,PTSD
I lay there in his arms whimpering after what we had just done. My eyes starting to fill with sleep I let out a loud yawn. My head rested on his chest with my eyes closed. I had started becoming incredibly depressed. overwhelmed with almost a sense of grief. Kacchan's fingers ran through my hair gently catching on small knots in my curls. The sadness seemed to be filling my whole body making my heart hurt. I sniffled softly rubbing my head against his chest a few tears forcing their way out of my eyes.
"Are you okay?" He tilted my head up making me look into his eyes. They were soft and such a beautiful shade of red.
I shrugged trying not to make him feel bad.
"Don't fucking lie to me." He hissed softly.
He wasn't going to let me avoid telling him.
"I... I just feel really sad. I don't know why..." I quietly whimpered out
"Oh, babe..." he whispered quietly "that's called a sub drop. It happens quite a bit. It has to do with the chemicals in your brain." His fingers continued to gently move through my hair
"I..It's never happened before..." I whimpered listening to the sound of his heart.
"It doesn't always happen Deku. Things were a bit intense for a bit and that could have contributed a bit."
I laid there for a while thinking about what he had said. It made a lot of sense.
"What helps it go away?" I said tilting my head up my eyes meeting his crimson ones.
"Lots of cuddles. Love and kisses." He softly chuckled pushing his nose against mine. A small smile crept over my face glad that if I had to go through this sadness at least I was with him. Kacchan made me so happy and I loved being near him. He also knew a lot about stuff like this and I couldn't help but wonder how he learned about all of it.
"What's on your mind?" He asked caressing my cheek.
"Where'd you learn about all of this stuff?" I whispered my eyes fluttering back open.
"The last person I messed was into some weird stuff. Made me take the test. We only did things a few times but every time she would go into sub drop. I researched things she liked and ended up being into some of them as well." he slightly shrugged "I don't know if I would even really call it dating. We fucked a lot now that I think about it."
"You just contradicted yourself Kacchan.."
"So fucking what?" he barked causing me to wince up
"I didn't realize how much we had, had sex until I thought about it..." he paused "Sorry I shouldn't be yelling when you're in this state." He cooed rubbing his thumb over my cheek.
"It's okay..." I whispered softly looking up to him with heavy eyes.
"Please rest Izuku. You haven't had a decent nights sleep in a while. I'm here it's okay." He cooed softly again.
It was so nice seeing this side of him. I wondered who the other person was but didn't want to pry yet. If he wanted me to know he would tell me.
My heavy eyes closed causing me to drift to sleep in his arms almost instantly.

There was a heavy pit in my stomach. I hurt everywhere and there wasn't a place that I wasn't aching. My arms drenched in blood. Screams left my mouth. I was reliving that night except there was no one there to save me. I was alone with her. Those lewd things I'm sure she was thinking spewed from her mouth. Why was this happening? I screamed for help over and over. It wasn't coming. The pain was overwhelming. I wanted it to end. I started begging "please just kill me.."

I awoke but I couldn't open my eyes. Screaming and retching from the nightmare. No matter how much I showered she would never go away. I couldn't stop crying. I curled up in a ball my chest full of heat and heavy. It was so hard to breathe.

"Hey... hey.... calm down Izuku..." I felt a hand rubbing my back. My breath hicked as I started to realize where I was.
"I wish I would have died there..." I whimpered softly
"How am I suppose to beat you as the number one hero if you arent here huh?" Katsuki pulled me into his lap like I had been earlier that day.
"I.."
"I don't want to fucking hear those words out of your mouth ever again. Got it? I care too fucking much about you to lose you."
His lips crashed into mine almost sending me into shock. He had kissed me after I got sick. That was surprising and truly showed me how much he cared. He was being so much more gentle than when we had first got into this situation.
There was a knock at the door. Bakugo threw my blanket over me.
"Pull that completely over you." He walked over to the door only in his boxers.
It was Kirishima.
"Shitty hair what do you want?" Kacchan's eyes narrowed.
"I heard screaming and crying. Me and Mina were in the common area. Figured Midoriya was having another nightmare. He was really loud. Seeing that you're only in your boxers though..." a chuckle escaped Kirishima's lips.
"I sleep in my boxers you freak. He was having a nightmare. There's literally puke in the floor. It was a bad one."
"Sure." Kirishima cooed.
"I want to die..." I softly whispered starting to zone out.
"Oh, shit..."
Since everything had happened I started to disassociate a lot. I didn't really feel like me and it took a lot to stay in control.
"Deku..." kacchan whispered softly then gently touched my face trying to get me to come out of the disassociation. He then invited in Kirishima and sat on the bed beside me. While Kirishima wasn't paying attention he made me put night pants on so he wouldn't suspect anything.
"So Midoriya." Eijiro said with a slight forced smile. "How have you been holding up? You know besides the nightmares?"
"It's been hard but my wounds are all mental now.." I gently rubbed my arm trying not to think too hard about it though the scars were very visible.
"How do you think he's holding up? I literally just had to clean up fucking vomit because he's so out of it!"
"S...sorry..." I muttered softly.
"Why the fuck are you apologizing? You have no reason." Kacchan barked at me.
"Hey Bakugo calm down. He's on edge enough..." he said quietly while putting his hand on Kacchan's leg.
"I'm just worried okay. Cant, I be fucking worried?" The words came out almost like a hiss.
I whimpered and wrapped my arms around him "thank you..."
"Midoriya why are you thanking him he's not exactly helping. He's pretty much just yelling."
I nuzzled into his chest softly not really caring much about Eijiro seeing.
Kacchan's hand gently tangled its self into my green locks.
"What's going on between you two?" He raised his eyebrow sitting down on my beanbag chair.
"I'm just helping him calm down after a night terror. What's so bad about that?"
"Bakugo. I've gotta be real with you for a second."
"What the fuck do you mean?" He snapped.
"You've been around him a lot lately. We know that you guys slept together once. We aren't going to judge you if you're dating." He rolled his eyes
"Why the fuck would you think something like that shitty hair?" Katsuki's eyes narrowed at him.
"You aren't going to give me a straight answer Mr. Angry pants. Izuku." He paused smacking his hands on his legs making me jump slightly "Are you guys dating or what?"
I put my finger to my bottom lip in thought. It wasn't exactly official but he had called me his a few times. He was always really nice to me and we had been intimate. This wasn't even to mention that I had told him that I was in love with him more than once if I was remembering right. No one had asked though so it could or could not be.
"Earth to nerd." Kacchan said trying to get my attention.
I had been mumbling the whole time. That was probably bad considering the only two people who had actual details of what going on were Mina and Sho.
"Well? Are you going to avoid the question too?" He said with a slight chuckle to his voice.
"No..." I quietly mumbled
"Then are you guys dating?" Eijiro whined pressing to know. I shrugged in response.
"What how can you not know?"
Katsuki laughed quietly "it's like Todoroki all over again for you isn't it?"
I let out a small sigh "You told me not to say anything about was going on... Do I have your permission? I don't want you to hate me Kacchan..."
"Do what you want Deku. I already told you that. I can't control what you're going to do."
"O...Okay" I whimpered turning to Kirishima who looked really confused but also slightly intrigued "We aren't exactly dating. A lot of things happened after I messed around with Shoto. I guess the only word to describe what happened would be jealousy." I looked over to Kacchan who looked a bit irritated. "We messed around a bit but he hasn't really asked me out... I'm starting to think that he doesn't really want a relationship but wants the aspects of them in privacy."
"Ooohhh." Kirishima put his hands together and smiled "you've been getting Biz-Zayy Bakugo." he chuckled
"Shut up brick for brains." Katsuki placed two of his fingers on the bridge of his nose in frustration "and Deku I didn't say I didn't want a relationship I just don't know exactly what I want."
"Soo. Izuku. Is he any good?" My face flushed red at his words.
"W...What...?" My heart beat so loud I figured everyone could hear it. I looked over to Katsuki who had a smirk on his face. I couldn't tell if he just wanted to know what I was going to say or the face was because he was annoyed at Kirishima.
"Well, it's just he brags all the time about how good he is in bed." He paused to rub the back of his neck for a second "I was just wondering. If you decide to I want all the detes." Kirishima stretched and let out a loud yawn. Katsuki's lips got really close to my ear especially since someone he knew was in here.
"I already told you to say what you want Deku. You're an exhibitionist arent you?" He whispered softly his hot breath making the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
My breath shook and a tremble went down my spine.
"O...only when it comes to actual sex stuff... Kacchan I've got anxiety." I whined a bit too which caused a weird look to be shot at Katsuki from Eijiro.
"What are you guys whispering about? Don't leave me in the dark here. But if you guys are about to fuck then I'm out." He sat forward slightly.
I sighed. Everyone already knew that we had sex and he didn't mind Kirishima knowing.
"Come here, nerd." Suddenly Kacchan was pulling me into his lap. His bare chest pressed against my back.
I laid my head back sighing once more. "He doesn't care if I say anything. He's made that very clear."
There was a loud snort. Katsuki was laughing behind me. I didn't know why.
"So spill it then." Kirishima looked a bit too excited.
"H..He's really good in bed." I paused trying to figure out how to word things. It probably didn't matter what I said at this point. Things would be awkward anyway. "I'm sure you figured he would be a complete dom with how much of an asshole he is though" I small giggle left my lips.
"Shut it brat." His voice was low and husky in my ear. A twitch sent through my whole body.
Kirishima laughed "Seems true enough. You kinky bakugo~" he cooed and winked at him.
"What about it fuckhead?" He hissed holding me close.
"Your responses are so angry. Stop being a butt I'm just teasing." Kirishima crossed his arms. "I'm allowed to tease. You're my friend. Though you should probably figure out what you're doing relationship-wise with Izuku. He's fragile mentally right now and a relationship might help support him."
"We have a relationship we just aren't dating." Katsuki said glaring at him.
"Oh yeah, what is it?" He laughed softly obviously still teasing.
"Its sort of becoming a slight BDSM thing but we are fuck buddies. Friends."
My heart sank a bit.
"That doesn't seem like the only thing Izuku wants though."
"You think. I don't know that? I just don't want him to get hurt you know?"
"Then protect him." Kirishima stood up "You don't really have to cling to protect him but if you only actually show him you care when you are having sex with him or when he's hurt that will make him feel used. Take him on a date man." He started walking over to the door and turned back to us. "If you ever need a person for a three-way or hell even a four-way I got you. Since you know, izuku is gay."
A small whine left my mouth. Did he really just say that.
"What the hell brick head?" Kacchan seemed just as shocked as me.
Kirishima blew a kiss at us and shut the door behind him.
"What the fuck man...?" Kacchan whispered under his breath.
So many things had been said and I didn't know what to think. Not only the last thing he had said but also the thing about the date. Would he actually do it or was this just false hope?