50. Come Back Home

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Basorexia
The overwhelming desire to kiss.

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Autumn's POV

"Autumn, are you awake?"

"Hmmm," I blinked my eyes to look at the figure stood in the doorway. Yoongi stood in the same all black outfit he had worn yesterday. "I want to talk to you. Alone," Yoongi scratched his neck awkwardly. I felt Jimin's grip around me tighten. I didn't want to leave him but I had to speak to Yoongi.

"Sure." I got up out of the bed as Jimin whined. Making my way into the bathroom I freshened up as much as possible. Yoongi was waiting for me outside the front door, leading me out of the hostel and on to the bustling streets.

"I'm sorry, I really am. I know you probably hate me." Yoongi stared at the ground as we continued to walk.

"I don't hate you. I just need time to process it all." I could never hate Yoongi, even after everything that has happened. Yoongi nodded his head, a look of relief washing over his face.
"How long have you known Jungkook for?" Yoongi questioned.

"Not long, a few months." I decided not to bring up any exact details, it would just create even more unnecessary drama. Any bad thoughts of Jungkook had been suppressed and I considered him a close friend now.

"What did you mean when you said you're here because of Taehyung?" I was expecting Yoongi to ask me this question and I didn't really know how to answer it.

"It's a long story. I got back with Taehyung and he did the exact same thing he did to me the first time we dated," I cringed as I spoke, I knew Yoongi wouldn't be happy at all. He had warned me that Taehyung was a dangerous person and I should never contact him ever again.

"Why did you do it?" Yoongi looked over at me with an annoyed expression, a deep frown set on his face.

"It was only for a short time. We fucked about, that's all. I'm not with him anymore." I tried to explain myself but the reality was even I knew what I had done was stupid.

"We spoke about this," Yoongi's voice softetened to an almost whisper, "before I left."

"Do you know how hard it has been for me. I let Taehyung manipulate me because I just couldn't take the lonliness you left me with anymore." It was pathetic, I know but the attention he gave me was enough to make me feel loved and wanted even if it was all fake. I'd been left with a huge hole in my life since Yoongi had left and for the past 3 years I've desperately been trying to fill it.

"Please don't blame me for this Autumn, don't you think I feel guilty enough," Yoongi ran a hand through his hair, sighing deeply in thought.

"I'm not blaming you, I just need you to understand that the past few years have been difficult for me." I softened my tone, I didn't want him to think I blamed him for what Taehyung had done. The complete opposite really.

"What about Jimin?" Yoongi changed the subject away from Taehyung.

"What about him?" I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion as we turned down a busy street.

"You two seem close, I mean you were sleeping in the same bed last night," He raised an eyebrow. "And he literally looks like he wants to kill me whenever I speak to you or even go near you," He laughed lightly showing off his gummy smile. Seeing it made me smile subconsciously, it was so adorable. My smile faltered when I realised that it could be one of the last times I see it.

"Are you coming back with us to Seoul?" I asked, desperately wanting Yoongi to come back with us when we had figured out what we were going to do. Yoongi pauses momentarily, "This is where I belong now. I can't go back." I was disappointed, it was the exact words I didn't want to hear. "Stay here with me." He abruptly stops, holding onto my shoulders to turn me to face him. His eyes were desperate, trying to convince me.

"I can't," I looked away from him, not wanting to see the hurt I had caused.

"Why not?" His voice was quiet, almost inaudible.

"Because my life is in Seoul." The main reason I couldn't leave was Jimin, but I decided it was better if it was left unsaid.

"I know. Sorry, it was stupid of me to ask." Yoongi let go of my shoulders but continued to remain stationary staring at me. I moved my eyes back on to his and that was how we stayed for a while, just looking into each other's eyes. It would look strange to anyone else but I was comfortable just staring at his features. I notice Yoongi slowly lean further and further towards me, I wanted to move away but something told me not to. My phone started ringing in my coat pocket, glad I had a distraction I immediately answered the call, placing the phone to my ear.

"Hello" I watched as Yoongi awkwardly stepped away, biting his lower lip slightly.

"Hey Autumn, I'm just calling to let you know we are heading back home to Seoul tonight." Hobi's voice rang through the other end of the phone. I stood puzzled.

"Already? So you have a plan?" Yoongi watched me silently, rubbing the bottom of his shoe against the concrete floor.

"We'll talk about it when you get back, how long are you going to be?" I heard muffled sounds in the background but I couldn't make out what they were doing.

"I don't know, I'm out with Yoongi." I couldn't believe we were going back to Seoul already, just as I had found Yoongi again I had to leave him. I managed to get through it once but I wasn't sure I could do it a second time.

"Okay, don't be too long, Jimin is worried about you." Hobi hung up the phone. Sighing I placed my phone back into my pocket.

"You're leaving aren't you." Yoongi pushed his hair back off his forehead, his shoulders were slumped and his eyes cast down in a mournful gaze. His mouth was set in a semi-pout.

"Please come back with us, I refuse to let you go again." I grabbed hold of Yoongi pulling him into a tight hug as tears streamed down my face. I was desperate, I'd never been so scared of losing something so precious to me in my life. We stood in each others arms for what felt like eternity. Yoongi slowly detached himself from me, with bloodshot eyes, "Okay. I'll come back."

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