I Know Who I Am Now

After.

"Chandrilla" Leia said softly, leaning on her stick for a moment before stepping out into the sunshine.  Rey followed, her hand automatically shooting up to shield her eyes.  "Do you know this place?" Rey asked, coming to stand next to Leia.  Leia nodded and began walking away from the Falcon as resistance members began streaming down the ships ramp.

Curious now Rey followed Leia, falling into step beside her.  Rey had watched Leia closely as they had approached this planet.  Something had changed in her eyes when she had seen the green trees and clear lakes and now Rey wanted to know more.  How did Leia know of this beautiful place?  "You've been here before?" Rey pressed.  Leia stopped then and turned to face Rey and Rey was surprised to find tears shining in the Generals eyes.  Rey hesitated then, suddenly sorry for pushing the older lady.  "I was here when I was pregnant with Ben".  At the mention of his name Rey swallowed hard, her eyes dropping to the ground, memories of the last time that they had seen each other filling her mind.  

It was only a day ago but it seemed longer. He had stared at her before she had closed the door but she had seen no hate there.  Only pain and loneliness.

"Grandfather forgive me.  I lost my way.  I was tempted".  Kylo spoke softly, his eyes lowered, his gloved hands in his lap.  "Please help me grandfather.  Show me how to get past this.  Show me what to do next".  Kylo waited for another moment before raising his eyes to look at his grandfathers helmet in front of him.  It sat there as ever, drawing him in, reminding him of all his failures.  "Please grandfather, I need your guidance".  The room remained still and quiet, just the hum of the ships generator.  A shot of anger flashed through Kylo then and he jumped to his feet, his hands raising up to pull at his hair.  His hand instinctively flew to his lightsaber and he ignited it, turning suddenly and slashing furiously at the wall, watching the sparks fly.  Over and over he hit out, until trembling with emotion he retracted his saber and slumped down to the ground, his arms wrapping around himself, feeling his own ribs rise and fall.  "It's ok it's all going to be ok" he whispered, his head slipping down to rest on his knees. Trouble was he didn't believe that.