I Know Who I Am Now

Seeing him in a new light.

"He was delivered here, in this very room" Leia said as she showed Rey into a wide chamber at the top of the now abandoned castle that they were to make their home.  Leia stopped at one of the tall windows and Rey came to stand next to her.  For a moment the two women stood side by side in silence and then Leia spoke.  "Why did you go to my son?".  Rey paused, wondering how much she should reveal.  "I just felt that he was our only hope.  Leia, there is still good in him.  He saved me".  Rey stopped short of revealing all the details, careful not to tell her about the way her son had asked her to join him and leaving out the way he had pleaded with her.  Leia simply nodded, "Do you know he had the most beautiful shock of jet black hair when he was born".  Rey studied the older woman then, watching her eyes glaze as any mothers might as they thought of that first moment of life, all the promise, all the potential.  "He was full of light when he came into this world but the darkness found him Rey. It wrapped around his soul. Rey, do you know the last thing he said to me? When he left to go to Luke?" Rey shook her head slowly. Leia sighed deeply, her voice trembling as she spoke, "He said that he hated me". Leia turned then, taking Rey's hands in hers,her eyes full of tears, "How did he save you? Tell me something good about my son, please". Rey nodded, "When I went to him, aboard the supremacy, he took me before Snoke. Snoke wanted Ben to kill me but instead he killed Snoke, Leia he killed his leader for me" Rey finished, a tear sliding down her cheek. Leias arms slid around Rey's shoulders and the two women embraced "Thank you for caring about my son" Leia whispered, her voice hoarse.

Finally the two women pulled apart. Rey wiped at her eyes and went to sit by one of the windows, looking down at the shimmering lake below. "Do you think it was Snoke who infected Bens mind? Whilst he was still with you I mean?". "Almost definitely. I saw it sweeping over him, like a dark cloud. I tried to stop it, give him interests, he loved to write so I got him a calligraphy set and charcoal so he could draw but after a while he became more distant. Our conversations became shorter and I retreated to the one thing I could make work, the resistance. He resented that. And then Han, he was never here. Ben would scream and shout in frustration at me, asking when he was coming home. He was so lonely", "He still is" Rey said turning then to look at the older woman.