I Know Who I Am Now

Help and forgiveness

"Ben bring us down, I have to get to Poe!" Rey said, already unbuckling herself. "Wait, Rey we have to finish this, there could be more. We can't stop for him" Ben said as gently as he could. Rey shook her head, "No, you have to let me out, I have to save him". For a moment their eyes met and then Ben nodded, bringing the ship down near the wreckage. He hated the thought of being separated from Rey but he knew she had to do this. Her huge compassion was what had kept her believing in him through all of this. She paused to kiss Ben, their foreheads resting together for a moment, "Be careful" Rey whispered, her voice shaking.

When Rey reached the burning wreckage of Poes x-wing she stopped. The whole thing was on fire, could he really have survived that? A beep from the bushes and Rey turned to see BB8 upside down amongst the brambles. Rey ran to him, righting him and lifting him gently onto the ground. More urgent beeps, "I don't think he made it BB8, I'm sorry" Rey said hugging the droid, tears sliding down her face. Suddenly BB8's head spun, another beep, this time excited and high pitched and he shot off into the trees. Startled, Rey followed, her hand clamping over her mouth when she saw Poe staggering towards her!

Ben had cleared the air troops and it seemed that Finn, Rose and Chewbacca had cleared the ground. Ben landed next to the AT-AT and spoke quickly into the com-link "Come in, come in, this is Ben. Your pilot friend has been shot down. Rey's with him, I'm going to get her now". A crackle of static and then Roses voice, "We hear you Ben, be careful. We'll be right behind you".

Poe had collapsed into Rey's arms when he had reached her. His breathing was heavy and blood soaked his shirt. "Rey I'm sorry, for all of it, for everything" Poe stammered, blood coming out of his mouth as he spoke. Beside him BB8 let out a low whistle. Rey pulled Poe to her and wept, only pulling back when she heard him take a deep breath. He had become deathly pale all of a sudden, his lifeless eyes staring upwards. BB8 whistled again, rocking violently from side to side. Poe was gone. Rey shook her head, not wanting to accept it, tears flooding down her cheeks.

The sound of a ship landing nearby caused Rey's head to snap up. A moment later Ben came running through the trees. He stopped when he saw Rey with the dead pilot. Her pain reached him through their bond and he came to her, burying his face into her neck, his hands smoothing her arms as she cried. "Oh no, oh no" Finn cried as he appeared running towards them. Ben stepped back, watching the former stormtrooper drop to his knees next to his dead friend. Rose and Chewie joined them and Ben turned away. He had caused this, he had given the order to attack.

"Ben" came a voice suddenly from amongst the trees. Ben turned slowly, walking away from the sobbing friends. "Ben" came another voice, this one different from the first. He pushed through knotted undergrowth and stopped. In front of him stood his mother, his grandfather and his uncle, their bodies shining with a bluish hue. Bens heart thumped at the sight, half afraid, half wanting to cry. "Hey kid, long time no see" Luke said first. Ben swallowed hard, his emotions churning. "Ben we see what you've become and now we all wish to help you" Leia said softly. Luke nodded, "You've done good kid".  Bens eyes dropped to the ground as they filled with tears and Anakin stepped forwards, "Ben we will fill you with enough life force so that you can save the pilot".  Bens eyes raised to look at his mother's Force ghost then and his lip trembled, "I'm sorry mum".  Leia smiled "Your actions speak louder than words son.  You know what to do".  Ben nodded and suddenly all three of the force ghosts stepped forwards and reached out their hands, touching his body.  He closed his eyes as an intense warmth filled his veins.  His lungs felt as though they were filled with the cleanest air and he inhaled briefly, his heart beating stronger than ever in his chest.  He felt the saber wounds from earlier close up, his skin tingling at the sensation. When he opened his eyes they were gone.

Rey had noticed Ben leave but, with Poes lifeless body resting on her she had stayed and shared the grief of her friends.  A loud rumbling noise from Chewbacca and they all looked up to see Ben emerging from the trees.  He walked straight over to where Poe lay, knelt down next to Rey and reached out his hand.  "Ben no!" Rey screamed, pushing his hand away.  Bens eyes locked with hers, "Trust me" he said calmly.  Rey hesitated and then nodded and Ben reached out his hand again touching it to the pilots chest and closing his eyes.  Rey looked between her friends, fear clear in all of their faces.  Ben was totally calm though.  His chest was rising and falling as he took deep breaths.

Suddenly Poe coughed.  Bens eyes opened and his hand lifted from Poe.  BB8 beeped excitedly, wheeling over and hitting Poes leg, "Ow!" Poe said as his eyes opened.  Ben stood up, stepping back and watching the scene before him.  Rey beamed, hugging the dazed pilot as Finn and Rose rushed in too, smothering Poe in a messy group hug.  A furry paw landed then on Bens shoulder, pulling him against more fur as Chewbacca hugged him.  Ben hugged him back.  When they broke apart Chewie ruffled Bens hair and Rey pulled Ben into her arms, kissing him and then holding him close against her.  The sound of someone clearing their throat made them pull apart.  To Bens surprise the pilot stood there.  "I hear I have you to thank for saving my life?" Poe said cooly.  Ben nodded, unsure of the pilots intentions.  Poe smiled then and gripped Bens hand "Thank you.  Be good to her" he said motioning to Rey.  Rey smiled, her arms wrapping around Bens waist "I will be" Ben said, his deep voice soft.  Poe nodded once, squeezing Bens hand, his other slapping Bens back before he headed over to Finn and Rose again, the three hugging whilst Chewbacca lifted BB8 into the air.

"How did you do that?" Rey asked as they watched the others celebrate. Ben smiled as the three force ghosts appeared behind Rey. Rey turned, her hand flying to cover her mouth, tears filling her eyes. "I had some help" Ben said quietly as his family smiled at them before disappearing.