Seventeen Lee Chan Fanfic | "My 13th month."

38. Let's call it off.

Chapter 38.

Let's call it off.

It was February 12th, 2019, when it started to end.

I waited for him to come as I practiced on the speech I had inside my mind.

Thoughts, imagines, pictures of both of us through the years since we've met, what happened and what could've been happening, everything was playing in my head, I thought about us, our relationship that was suffering from him and I being distant, it seemed only for me as a painful journey, while all he could do was listen to his new girlfriends and sign for two years there.

Once I thought about me without him, there the decision was made.

I know seeing his face would make me want to give him another chance, but there were a lot of chances that he'd missed already.

I was thinking about everything, until the moment he knocked on the door of my room.

For the third time that day, the door opened and Chan entered in with a worried face expression.

Our eyes met and the eye contact lingered on as he approached me quickly.

"I wish we could talk about us instead of arguing." I hope my voice makes his body shiver.
He stops in front of me, looking at my face, tries to read my expressions.

"What is it, Noona? What's with these serious messages?" he's placing his phone on my desk as my eyes follow his movement.

I look inside his eyes, as sounds of us together are playing in the back of my head, we loved each other so sweetly, until you ruined everything with your decision.

"I gotta tell you something, Chan." I sigh heavily.
"Say it already." He says quickly, and my mouth opens as his closes, "I think we should break up."
Finally.

Chan blinks confusingly and a giggle escapes his mouth.

"W-what?" he stutters, his hands are up to caress my cheek, but I stop him.

"Lee..." his voice sounds fragile all of the sudden, and so, I cut him off immediately; "I think it'll be better for both of us." I break our eye contact, lower my head to the floor.

"Remind me why? why would you want us to break up?" He takes my hands, pulls me closer to him, "Because..." I sigh as I look up at his concerned face.
I hate this.
After I saw all the texts inside Chan's phone, I knew that my heart couldn't take it anymore.

Everything just became too much for me, for us.
All this time, all these words my mom had told me a few times about our relationship, I can't believe I'm facing it now with him.
Everything made me feel so exhausted, I needed a break.
"Because I got into the university, in North Carolina." His shocked, open mouth was twisting into a wide smile.
Why are you smiling like that? It hurts me.
As tears starts to show up in my eyes, he pulls my body closer to his, against his.
"I'm so proud of you, miss Collins." He says, proudly as he leans towards me.
"No, Chan..." I am there to push him away gently from the hug.
"What?"
"Why are you happy?" I ask him as a hurt chuckle is out of my lips.
He stops from brushing his lips against mine and looks into my eyes deeply for a few seconds.
"I thought endlessly about the day you'll get in a good university and now I can say that... I signed for two years in the army while you'll study abroad, it'll make everything so fair, Noona." his eyes were shining with hope, he's really proud of me, but I can't take it like that.
Fair?
Is that fair to you?
I shake my head, "No..."
Fair? What's fair? This is crazy!
He watches me shaking my head like that and his face falls.
"What? I thought that you received the letter I sent you a few months ago-?" I quickly cut his voice off without thinking twice.