Seventeen Lee Chan Fanfic | "My 13th month."

29. Alone and empty.

Chapter 29.

Alone and empty.

April 3rd, 2017.

The day after Chan's enlistment party.

The day of him leaving to the army.

I woke up beside him as I counted his breaths, staring at his rising and falling chest, yesterday's night was different from our first time, everything felt so intense between us, as if we were really sharing our last kisses, everything was painful, yesterday's night, I couldn't tell him that, but I suffered silently as we made love.

It felt right, I suddenly fell in love with being so bare to his eyes, so open with him was making me feel more alive, when he saw all of me like that, he accepted all of me with all my flaws, but it was too painful to handle this time, as if my mental emotions mixed with the physical feelings at the same time.

Chan called our café boss yesterday, after the party, he told him he's going to the army so he won't work anymore, but he asked for him to transfer the money he had to pay him, to my bank account, I knew if I'll beg for him not to do that, he won't listen to me.
I heard Andrew's voice as he congratulated him and wished him well, after Chan hung up, he sighed out loud and hugged me tight.

I could feel how hard it was for him to go, I could feel it through his gaze as he looked at me, or his voice as he sighed, but this time I felt it in the heavy silence as he hugged me tight.

It was his decision after all, and it'll be a lie if I say I'm not mad at him, or not hurt but his decisions.

I am.

The two woke up next to each other, they shared sad smiles as Chan's alarm clock started to buzz.
A silent morning hug with unexpected kisses while they silently dressed.
Chan's dad cooked a breakfast while his mom packed a few dishes for Chan's flight.

Hyun-jin was pretty sad as well, knowing he won't see his hyung the next few months was making him sad for everyone, especially for Noona, since he knew how dear Chan is to her heart.

As they went down, after washing their faces and stealing some kisses from each other, Chan's dad ran towards them and hugged them tight, Hyun-jin decided to join the group hug as they all laughed.

"How was your night, Chan?" Chan's dad wiggled his eyebrows teasing him.

"Pretty sad." Without looking at his dad, he walked to the kitchen to hug his mom.

They talked in Korean about the flight and the next months he'll be gone, while Lee shared a few words with Chan's dad.
"Life is always surprising, right?" she's asking Mr. Lee and he chuckles, patting her head affectionally.

"Oh, child. You'll be fine! You know, the door is always open for you, right?" she nodded without saying anything as she hugged his dad again, while Hyun-jin gave her a sweet closed smile.

"We'll be here together for you, if you'll ever feel alone, Noona." The words Hyun-jin said to me were ringing in my head, it rang in my head as Chan was running upstairs to get his suitcases with his dad, the words rang in my head as he went down with the suitcases as I lost my breath, seeing him smiling sadly at me.

I haven't really realized yet, he was leaving for so long.

I haven't still realized he was mine, my best friend Chan.

It wasn't hard for me, to let him go, as it was hard for me when I found myself completely alone, a couple of hours after, that day.

I looked at Chan walking towards me with his suitcases, as he stopped, he still smiled that sad smile with his furrowed eyebrows, his eyes carried a sad look I couldn't stand seeing.