Seventeen Lee Chan Fanfic | "My 13th month."

35. You don't own my heart anymore.

Chapter 35.

You don't own my heart anymore.

I preferred to be the one standing aside and watching quietly.
The first time I'm without Chan, when Chan is around, I watch him talking to some girls, a sweet, flirty smile smeared on his face while his slanted eyes sparkle.
He talks to the Korean girls that stand around him, laughing, if I was the Hai-lee of two years ago, I would go straight to hold his hand and be around him to show the other girls he's not as single as they think to themselves, with these showy smiles on their faces, but the Hai-lee of now is standing by the bar that is outside and watches him.
As soon as his eyes lifted and caught my gaze, my eyes narrowed and a side smile appeared on my lips.

There, I felt my body warm up inside, I loved the feeling, he didn't make me jealous this time, my smile burned his heart as soon as he saw me smiling instead of giving him a jealous look.
Eva, Soonyoung and Ver made their way to the bar, so my gaze detached from his, as soon as Eva wrapped her arms around my body in a hug.

"You're so fucking sexy, what the heck?" Eva is swaying from side to side while she scans me.

Vernon and Soonyoung laughed and nodded with their heads, "Super fit, sis." Ver is finishing his beer and throwing the empty can in the bin.

"Thanks, you look great too!" It's been awhile, we've all changed.

We smiled at each other in such a weird silence, exchanging looks.

"What's with our party boy? Why aren't you with him?" Soonyoung already smelled the weird tension that was between me and Chan by that time, so he asked.
"I'd rather let him shine alone," that's all I said, before we all ordered some drinks. No alcohol for me, tonight.

We all sat there, listening to some new of Vernon's stories about NYC and the girls he met there, we laughed, and it was like we weren't even trying to bring the old moments of ours, it just came, as if we were never separated.

I noticed my friends somehow realized that there was something going on between me and Chan, it made them silent, it made them change subjects, it made them be less serious but it made me smile and be happy inside, with my broken, hurt heart, they made me happy by the way they just let it be, without asking too much, without judging us.

Along with the indescribable anger and the distance between me and Chan, there was this sexual burning tension between us, which was pretty hard to ignore as we caught each other's gaze from a few meters away.

Vernon and Eva went dancing for their favorite song, while Soonyoung and I stood outside the mansion as we both drank our cocktails.
I noticed he'd been staring at me for a while now, so I had to smack his shoulder to make him stop.

"What?" he laughs, "why did you do that, pabo?" he calls me an idiot in Korean, and I smack his shoulder again, we both burst out in laughter.
Chan was a few meters away from us, and the way his smile disappear was the quickest I've ever seen.
He looked at us laughing and I caught it right in the moment, so I took a closer step to Soonyoung and placed my hand on his shoulder.
Chan's heart cracks.
"Can you tell me why Chan chose the army over me?" I ask him, he looks at me and stops laughing.
"He didn't choose it over you," Soonyoung shakes his head no, I giggle and nod as if he's right, "Soon, tell me the truth now."
"What?"
"Is it true that he could enlist in some other time, since he lives far from Korea?" I look inside Soonyoung's little eyes as they shine and blink fast.
"It is true." He says, gulps in silence.
The look on his face says he's sorry, but he wasn't the one to be sorry.

"What's going on between you, guys?" Soonyoung is switching the mood to a serious one.
"Nothing."
"Come on-"

I sigh and I finally tell him the truth.
"I feel like I'm suffocated from this relationship, Soon."
"What? Why? I can see that clearly... but I can't understand why?"
I look inside his eyes as he reads my face.
"Please tell me what to do." I mouth, "Yo, Lee." His face expression changes and his little eyes open wide in realization.
"Don't break his heart, he loves you so much-"
"I don't." I say furiously.
Two strong hands are placed on my shoulders.
"Lee." Soonyoung says my name in a serious tone.
"I don't want to love him, anymore. It feels like his love is poisoned."