Pumasok akong mag isa. Iba yung pakiramdam ko, wala akong natatanggap na texts sa kahit na sino.
Except Tyler, he keeps on texting me, pero ibblock ko na lang siya.
"Boyfriend stealer,"
"Ahas much?"
"Slut."
Nadinig ko nung nagdaan ako sa may lobby. Nainis ako, pero pinigilan ko yung sarili ko. Naalala ko nung sinabi ni Matthew noon na 'wag kong pansinin yung mga tao 'pag may masama silang sinasabi sakin mapapagod din naman sila.
Yumuko nalang ako at nagderecho na maglakad. Ang weird lang, mag isa lang ako tapos parang lahat nakatingin sakin.
Sa sobrang inis, galit at lungkot ko hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Pumunta ako ng cr, at umiyak.
I need a friend.
Naisip kong tawagan si Marie pero she's mad at me too. They're all mad at me, except Tyler. But he's the reason kung bakit sila sakin galit.
"Samantha," Whut. Isabelle? What is she doing here?
"Are you okay?" Tanong niya pa.
"Yes." Sagot ko habang patungo sa pinto.
"Wait." Pag pigil niya.
"Maybe you need a friend right now?" Sabi niya
I hate the fact that people pitied on me and hated me at the same time.
Ngumiti lang ako sakanya at nagsalita ako, "I'm fine :)" at tuluyan na 'kong umalis.
I really hate it or maybe ayoko lang aminin sa sarili ko ang totoo na nakakainis ako at nakakaawa. Gusto ko talagang umiyak. I want to get lost in this world right now!
Umuwi nalang ako sa dorm. At naglock ng pinto. No, I won't commit suicide, no matter how empty I'm feeling. there is redemption.
*knocks*
Binuksan ko yung pinto, nakita ko si Tyler may dalang bulaklak at pizza. Isasara ko na sana ulit pero nagsalita siya.
"Oooooh, wait lang naman. Papasukin mo naman ako."
"Papasukin kita? NO WAY!" I said with sarcasm.
"Yung dala ko nalang. Sayang naman eh."
"Mas masasayang yan dito, hindi ko kakainin yan."
"Look, Samantha I'm so sorry. Ano bang pwede kong gawin para mapatawad mo na ko?"
"Just get lost. Umalis ka sa buhay ko."
"Seriously? Luluhod ako." Sabi niya at paluhod na siya
"Seriously? I don't care."
"Samantha, I'm really sorry." Nakaluhod pa din siya.
Bakit niya ba ginagawa 'to sakin?! Siniraan niya ko, blinackmail niya ko tapos ngayon magiging mabait siya sakin. What's his trip?!
Naawa naman ako kaya pinatayo ko siya at hindi ko nalang pinansin.
"Samantha, please. Hayaan mo lang ako mabawasan ang sakit na nadarama mo."
"What the hell Tyler, you're the reason wh-----"
"I'm not the reason Samantha. I just tell them the truth, but still hindi ako yung gumawa nun." Sabi niya. Nainis ako at natahimik because he's right.
"Look, i know I've been jerk to you... But now, I'm not... I want to be your friend. And I really feel sorry.. Samantha kung gusto mong patawarin ka ng mga nasaktan mo, start it with yourself. Learn to forgive others."
Daming alam ng lalaking to. Pero ang seryoso niya ah. Iba ibang attitude nito.
"Dont tell me what to do." Sabi ko with matching roll eyes pa. Syempre ako ang galit eh sinesermunan niya ko. Dafuq
Tinitigan niya lang ako,
"WHAT?" Sabi ko habang nilakihan ko siya ng mata.
"I am really... Sorry."
"Anong kailangan mo sakin?" Tanong ko sakanya.
"Your forgiveness." Bigla niyang sagot sa tanong ko.
"Then?"
"Your trust." Napayuko siya.
"Why are you doing this to me?!" Tanong ko nang naiirita.
"Because I am the reason why they left you like that."
Nag isip ako, nag iisa nalang ako ngayon. And I won't push people away from me again. Never again.
"Haaay. Fine you won! Apologies accepted." Sabi ko with very deep sigh.
"Really?!"
"Yes. Naisip ko, hindi nga ikaw talaga ang may kasalanan. I'm the bitch here, who kissed my bestfriend's boyfriend. And the fact that she was there in the other room. I'm really a bitch."
"No. I understand, na lasing ka. And you didn't mean to do that."
Niyakap niya ako.
"I'm sorry for disrespecting you. Sorry for blackmailing you. And sorry for everything."
"Okay naguguluhan ako. Ano ka ba talaga good guy or bad guy? Because when I met you, you were pretty good guy na naging bad ass-jerk guy to me tapos ngayon para kong may kausap na anghel ah." Paliwanag ko sakanya, kasi seriously hindi ko siya kilala. Isang linggo palang kaming magkakilala personally pero kilala ko na siya sa name before.
"Because this a serious matter. You lost your friends trust. And so your boyfriend's. Anyway, I'm really a good guy here :)"
Ako- Sure. It's done. And there is nothing else I can do.
Tyler- Pano ba kita mapapasaya?
Ako- Just be with me. And never leave me.
Tyler- Promise, I won't. :)
Ako- Thank you.
Tyler- No, thank you.
Almost 2 weeks na kaming okay ni Tyler. And he's one of the reasons why I'm strong today. He's my only friend that's always here for me. And my only friend right now.
Tumigil na din yung mga tao sa pag uusap tungkol sakin, hindi ko kasi sila pinapansin. :)))
