[ITNOL #2] How Right It Is To Love You? (COMPLETED)

Chapter 47

#HRIITLYFaltered

A/N: Hi, baka dudugo na naman yang mga ilong niyo kaka-(mema)english ko dito ha HAHAHAAHHA so ayon, falter means to lose strength or to lose the momentum. Faltered kasi past tense, common sense oks uqjqhshaa. Sorry for the grammatical errors and misspelled words. Thank you, enjoy reading!

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"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

I secured my seatbelt, hopping onto Ariel's car. Right after I said what I had to do, agad kaming lumabas ng Baristas at sumakay agad sa sasakyan niya. Pupunta ako ng Zambales para kausapin ang tatay niya. Pupunta ako para linawin ang lahat sa akin, sakali mang malaman ko kung ano talaga ang totoo kong pagkatao. It is such a burden having this incomplete feeling with me. Ayoko ng ganito.

"You have to-"

"Goddamnit, Rivera. Can you shut it off?" I became pissed off. "Sigurado ako okay? If I'm meant to die there then be it! Kung papatayin man ako ng tatay niya dahil nalaman ko ang totoo edi sige! Putangina, kung alam mo lang kung gano kabigat sa pakiramdam na tatapak-tapakan lang ang pagkatao mo, you would be doing and thinking the same thing. You are my last solace on the battle, Ariel."

"This will be hard."

"I know that this won't be a piece of cake." I sighed. It is now or never. Kung mamamatay man ako, then okay. If finding out the truth takes my life away, then I'll be happy to seek justice within myself. Sa dinami-dami kong ginamot at pinagaling, ni sarili ko hindi ko nagawang kumpletuhin.

Pinaharurot niya ang sasakyan. He just quietly drove me away from Manila and checked me out when he felt he had to. He was gentle and considerate. Hindi naman niya ako kinausap buong biyahe, siguro binibigyan ako ng space para i-absorb lahat ng nalaman ko kanina at para na rin makapag-isip isip kung anong susunod kong gagawin matapos nito.

I refused Ogie to go with me, no scratch that, hindi ko siya inaya. Ayoko siyang makita muna ngayon. Wala naman akong nararamdamang galit sa kanya o panghihinayang...damn, I don't know what to feel or what I have to feel. Hindi ko alam kung sadya nga bang hindi ko alam ang nararamdaman ko o naging manhid nalang ako ng wala sa oras. I just can't describe it my words and express it by my actions on how tensed and nervous I am. I am purely clueless and I hate this feeling.

How right it is to love you, really?

What does it take to love you selflessly? What risks to I have to asses before loving you wholeheartedly? What should I do just to make things in tact and the way I wanted it to be? What intensity of hardships I have to go through just to have you for the rest of my life? What sacrifices should I take to make you mine until eternity? What reality should be slapped to me just to attain forever with you? Gusto kong ibigay sa kanya ang mga tanong na iyan pero alam kong wala siyang masasagot.

And now, I have reached the point of questioning myself, why does it have to be him? In the first place, bakit ko siya minahal? Sa dinami dami ng tao sa mundo, bakit siya pa? Bakit siya pa rin ang sinisigaw ng puso ko kahit sinasaktan na niya ako ng ganito? Na kahit anong sakit ang binibigay niya sa'kin, bakit hindi pa rin nagbabago ang tingin ko sa kanya? He broke me into pieces but at the end of the day I'm wholly his surrenderee. Habang-buhay akong magiging alipin ng pag-ibig niya.

With those thoughts in mind, hindi ko namalayang nakatulog na pala ako sa sobrang pagod at antok. The next thing I heard was the car door opening and knocked my window up. Inalimpungatan ako sa naging puwesto ng pagtulog ko sa sasakyan. I stretched and yawned as I looked who knocked me outside. It was the driver.