SCPs but they're explained by an idiot

SCP-025

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: Only open 025 for experimenting, jesus, we don't want a repeat of the {REDACTED} incident, now do we?

Description: 025 is a wooden wardrobe full of clothes dating from a variety of time periods.

Every article of clothing in 025 is in apparently poor condition, moths have eaten away at most of them, and tears and the like aren't uncommon.

(Now here's the fun part)

Whenever any item from 025 is put on, the wearer will suffer an injury, or uh, die in 24 (Twenty-Four) hours. Due to lack of time, here's a quote from the wiki explaining:

" The cause of death or injury in these instances is invariably linked to the aforementioned flaws in the clothing, but only ever appears to be an unrelated incident."

Basically,  the reason that you die/get injured is linked to the item of clothing that is worn, but it always looks like an accident. Wearing a glove with the finger cut off? Uh, yeah, might be a good time to say good bye to that finger. 

The following text is uh, the 025 test log. There is a lot. Which tells me you guys really like testing this stuff. 

TEST LOG SCP-025, SECTION ONE of many

SUBJECT: D-778, a 42-year-old white male
ARTICLE: 1940s-era white tuxedo
IMPERFECTION(S): Torn seam in left shoulder
TEST RESULTS: Subject was allowed to wander 'round under Agent ██████'s supervision. For about 45 minutes, nothing occurred; however, at ██:██:██, security tapes and eyewitnesses indicate that D-778 appeared to make an attempt at attacking Agent ███████.

Eyewitnesses: Oh wow that D-Class is attacking that Agent.

Other Eyewitness: Cool. So how's you're morning been

Eyewitnesses: Eh, nothing much, just some sh*t about bureaucracy

 He in turn overcame the subject with a knife, causing an inch-deep gash in D-778's left shoulder precisely at the point where the tuxedo's seam was ripped. 

Test halted; subject later terminated.

obviously, we can't have any witnesses

wait

SUBJECT: D-690, a 26-year-old white male

ARTICLE: 2004 Boston Red Sox baseball cap
IMPERFECTION(S): Missing size adjuster in back of cap; logo in front partially removed
TEST RESULTS: Placed in a sealed room with the subject was a table on which were a loaded Jericho "Baby Eagle" 9mm handgun, a grill lighter, and a hatchet.

That

is a bad idea

Even I know that.

 D-690 chose to wear the cap backward for the test. Subject expressed reluctance to touch any of the objects on the table for several hours. 

After four (4) hours of general inactivity, subject picked up the handgun and examined it; while holding it at roughly eye level, the weapon discharged into D-690's forehead, where the size adjustment band would have been. The round exited the subject near the part of the hat with the missing part of the logo.