SCPs but they're explained by an idiot

SCP-052

This is me from the future, and I have come back for an important reason:

Lord Bung has posted an announcement about the next Confinement episode and his rendition of popular SCPs are very accurate.

Also: The episode is going to be called: 'The Salesman'

Time to theorize

wait no

what

OH YEAH, SPEAKING OF TIME TRAVEL....

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: It's not possible to remove 052 from the NYC subway system, but with a little manipulation and a spot of good intentions we managed to close off the The 59th St. A/B/C/D Station on Saturdays/Sundays under the excuse of  "Track maintenance"

Yeah, sure.

Anyone leaving or going into or, screw it , just arrest everyone near 052.

Description: 052 is a train. It was built in 1932 and was meant to be scraped in 1972. Despite that, 052 is very much still a train, and it appears at the aforementioned station at about 11:57 every Saturday. 

It appears, it opens its doors for people to leave and for people to get on for about five minutes, then it closes its doors. 

Like every other train that currently exists.

What's so special about this train, then, you ask?

Well, it's a train...whose passengers come from 1976, up to 2204.

You heard me right, it's A TIME TRAVELING TRAIN.

I would say that's awesome if it wasn't such a timestream-hazard.

Addendum: Passengers leaving 052 are to be brought to Site-21 to be interrogated to determine their origin and if they're a hazard to the timestream. 

People from the past can usually be integrated back into society in general, but people from the future are to be held indefinitely. (See Order 69-A1 from O5-9)

The Foundation has placed several subjects on The Train, in an attempt to understand its properties and activities.

Test 052-1: May 31, 2009.

(Fun fact, the last known survivor of the Titanic died on that day.)

Agent {REDACTED} placed on train. That Agent is uh, lost in the void. Has not been recovered as of present date.

Test 052-2: June 6, 2009.

(Fun Fact: something about tennis)

Agent {REDACTED} enters train. Not recovered, apparently the guy went back to 1980 and got killed in a confrontation with {REDACTED}.

Test 052-3: See notes on recovered passenger 052-4.

After Test 052-3, O5 Command issued orders that agents shouldn't be put on that cursed train. Or anyone, actually, the risk is too great, we might f*ck up spacetime.

Log of Recovered Passengers in Foundation Custody

Passenger 052-1:  Entered train July 14, 2012; recovered: March 8, 2008.

Notes: An accountant. Has expressed dismay and surprise to have traveled back four years, but is otherwise unchanged and unharmed.

Is that a thing we care about now?

Subject has been determined to exist in this timeline and must be held indefinitely to prevent temporal effects.

Passenger 052-2: Entered train June 12, 1976; recovered: March 15, 2008.

Notes: Subject entered train when lost on the way to 'Studio 54'.

(Fun Fact: Studio 54 was a nightclub way back when.)

Although unharmed and NOT a temporal threat, 052-2 is being held because the examining psychiatrist thinks that 32 years is to many for reintegration.

Which I think is a good idea, but hey, not my call.

Passenger 052-3: Entered train December 6, 2014; recovered June 20, 2009.

Notes: A tourist. 052-3 now speaks Arabic instead of English.

Passenger 052-4: Entered train June 13, 2009; recovered June 27, 2009.

Notes: Agent {REDACTED} from test 052-3. Agent returned with his hands surgically removed and a note in his pocket with the message "Send no more."

Holy sh*t it's the Serpent's Hand

why are we blaming the serpent's hand

I don't know, for fun

When subjected to hypnosis, Agent {REDACTED} revealed {DATA EXPUNGED}

Don't you just hate it when important info is redacted? Me too.

Passenger 052-5: Agent {REDACTED}. Entered train at unknown future date. On July 11th, 2009, body of subject was violently thrown from the train, landing 10 meters away.

Ha, serves you right, actually that's awful, I'm laughing right now but that doesn't you should kids, don't be like me

Passenger 052-6: { D A T A    E X P U N G E D}  claims to be a Level 4 Researcher from the "SCP Federation", who entered the train in the December of 2124.

Subject had been administered a Class A-Prime amnestic prior to boarding, in a successful attempt to avoid the fate of Passengers 052-4 and 052-5. 

Recovered Feb. 6, 2010.

Seeing as he will never see the light of day again, the higher ups decided it was okay to divulge some actually important information.

Agent {REDACTED} has been rather cooperative, and claims:

-That it is good we don't  know how to open SCP-699. Subject turned visibly pale and refused to discuss the subject any farther.

Is this.....an SCP theory?

SCP-699 is an SCP theory waiting to happen.

-To be a survivor of the "Great Zombie Plague of 2092" caused by an SCP-008  containment breach.

I don't want to be that guy, but, I told you guys, I f*cking told you it would happen, I KNEW IT.

-That SCP-███ can be killed by [DATA EXPUNGED] with a [DATA EXPUNGED] and SCP-███. [Permission to try this has been denied by O5-█.]

I think the SCP they're talking 'bout is

(Drumroll please)

SCP-682

Or maybe {DATA EXPUNGED}.

-That he worked for Dr. Jack Bright.

I'm

not even going to touch that one

Goddamn, we love documents here.