SCPs but they're explained by an idiot

well shitballs

hi

I bet you've been wondering where I've been, and to put it simply, Discord. 

(And other places, but we simply can't speak of it here...)

The end is nearing, summer is getting closer, but alas, for me, school doesn't end until the 28th. No matter, I'm sure you guys are starving for something new. Or at least, are very bored with waiting, assuming you still read this. 

Hats off, I guess. 

So, what now? SCP-106? 

okay so the thing is

I can hear you all collectively groaning  just hear me out uh

you know how I have a habit of writing SCPs in a sort of slapstick way, like uh, a parody?

My god, I should have just called this entire thing a parody, anyway 

so the thing about scp-106 is that it's more uh, horrifying than anything else

it's not very funny

And I mean 'not very funny' in the way that most fandoms aren't funny, it's more of a 'jesus fucking christ is that another monster that eats fucking babies yes it is'.

I guess morbidly funny is what I'm trying to say. 

For example, there's this one story about SCP-106 eating children on Halloween (It's called 'Treats') and jesus fucking christ  it was a great story, very good narrative devices and whatnot

but at least three people got eaten by the goopy old guy 

and it was sad

and then I read some other things and in all of them at least one person got eaten by the scary old guy and can we please stop talking about people getting eaten

So guys, the one big take away from all of this: 

If you see scary looking black goop, don't fucking touch it, and you know what you're already screwed, so tell your government you love it because it sure as hell doesn't love you

Okay wait, so, I feel obligated to say something about the virus but I've got nothing so