The Real Me// fillie

Chapter 35

ily <3

--

It was finally Sadie's birthday, Millie was getting ready she was wearing a white shirt with a jean jacket over it and a black suede skirt.

Millie was able to go due to the 'progress' that she has made. It was just going to be close friends and family there. She had arrived at the party with Finn since he offered to give her a ride. He loves spending time with Millie even though they are almost always together. 

Once they got there the whole place was decorated with balloons, a happy birthday sign and other decorations. There was a candy table and even a photo booth to the side. Sadie decided to just have a small party with her real friends rather than a big party where other people can come knowing that they are practically strangers and irrelevant to her.

"Millie!" exclaimed Sadie as she ran up to her giving her a hug

"Happy birthday sades" she said as she handed her, her gift.

Sadie then hugged Finn and he also handed the gift that he had brought. They then went to the main floor, they saw Noah and Gaten at the food table while Caleb was with Sadie. 

--

"So who's next?" asked Sadie she had just finished singing. They were doing karaoke.

"Millie and Finn" says Gaten 

Sadie pulled them up and pushed them towards the stage where she handed them two microphones and then Caleb chose a song.

I know that something has changed

They know that their feelings have grown stronger

Never felt this way

That feeling, they know it's special

And right here, tonight

Tonight things may change for them

This could be the start of something new
It feels so right to be here with you, oh
And now, lookin' in your eyes
I feel in my heart the start of something new
Oh, yeah

The song ended and they were both standing right in front of each other, starring into one another. It was just them two, no one else mattered but them two. The only thing is that

They'll never tell each other how they feel

They looked away as they heard clapping and cheering come from their friends. They did more karaoke before it was time to sing happy birthday to Sadie.

Once they are all standing there singing her happy birthday, Millie can't help but remember the day when she threw up for the first time, what made her do that.

flashback 

After Millie finished her food she asked for dessert. She was about to take a bite out of the chocolate piece of cake but was stopped. "Millie how can you possibly think of eating that. It's full of sugar and it'll just make you fatter and you can't be fat. Look at you, you need to start getting thinner." said her mother as she moved the plate away from her.

She looked at her body she felt fat and she couldn't help but think that her mother was right she needed to get thinner. She walked to her toilet and kneel down as she stuck her fingers into her mouth to help her throw up the food that she had eaten. She felt disgusted but somehow relieved after throwing up. 

She had a piece of cake on her plate, she looked at it as if it was going to hurt her. She picked up a piece as she moved it closer to her mouth ready to eat it but she couldn't she kept replaying that sentence.

Millie how can you possibly think of eating that. It's full of sugar and it'll just make you fatter and you can't be fat. Look at you, you need to start getting thinner."

She dropped the fork on the plate and threw the cake away before walking away.

She was doing better, why is she like that again?

Why is she thinking of throwing up again and just starving herself. She's still too fat to even think of eating that cake but no one even notices the way that she's been faking everything.

They are all just caught up in the moment that she's doing better, she is becoming the 'old' Millie again but in reality she isn't she's slowly starting to loose herself and no one even notices it. 

--

"What are you thinking about?" asks Finn as he walks to her since he had been looking for her. He finds her outside on the balcony leaning against the ledge.

"I wanna know how it feels like to be beautiful"

"You are beautiful" he says, he's finally standing next to her

"After all this time you still think i'm pretty?" she asks as she turns to him

"Always"

"I don't feel it" she says in a sad soft tone

He puts his finger under her chin so she can look at him "who hurt you?"

He is seeing the real Millie right there, she is broken. Life broke her and she just needs to pick herself up and put those broken pieces together.

She scoffs "The real question is who hasn't"

Everyone in her life has hurt her and if there hasn't been one then it will happen soon. Sooner or later everyone is going to end up hurting her.

"I see you mills"

She furrows her eyebrows "You see me. The real me?"

"Yes I see the real you" he sighs "You're broken on the inside, you think you're alone but your not. You have Sadie, Caleb, Gaten, Noah and me. I'm always going to be here for you." he says. 

He said it as if he was for certain that he will always be there for her but promises can be broken.

"You all are better off without me. I'm not normal like you all-"

"How could you even think that. We all love you. We would all be dysfunctional without you. We need you." says Sadie walking to her. The others walked behind her joining the three.

"I'm sorry. It's your birthday and-"

"I don't mind. You're my best friend Millie. I love you" she said before she hugged her. They all did a group hug some tears were spilled but it didn't matter it was a very sentimental and emotional moment.

It showed the love they all had for one another no matter what comes their way they will always be there for one each other, but how can they or anyone be so sure about that.

maybe just maybe everything will turn out just fine for all of them

maybe.

--

This sucked, it was TERRIBLE but last update of 2019 

Happy new year!

I hope 2020 treats you all well, hopefully better than 2019 did

BYE

-