Freddie Mercury one-shots

This Fucking Sadness (Deacury)

There it is! I hope you'll like this new chapter since it's a bit like revealing my life. I feel like this chapter is a bit a description of what I sometimes feel. I also wanted to dedicate this chapter to @dancing_deaky (for no specific reason but that we're good friends and that this author is too talented for my little head and I wanted to share that with you. So go check her books!)

3rd person's POV:

They're all better without me. They don't need me. I make them all mad. I should get away from them, they'll be happier.

The usual thoughts got through his mind. He pulled the blankets tightly on his head. He hugged his legs closer to his chest then they ever have been. Silent tears fell down his face. The warm of the room didn't matter as his body shivered under the covers. There wasn't anyone to wrap their arms around him. To tell him that everything was gonna be okay, that he wasn't alone dealing with this.

It usually wasn't that bad. Normally, he would cry a few minutes, tell himself to not freak out over nothing, get to sleep and the next day it was fine. But tonight, it was far from fine. All of their words were stuck. They wouldn't get out like usual. They hit in his head, trying be free, causing him a headache. It was supposed to be a happy day. He was supposed to have fun, it was New Year's Eve for fuck sake! The new year would arrive, he would be alone, in his bed, stuck with his own haunting thoughts. The only resolution he could would be to escape all this pain. But what was the solution?

"You're nobody."

"If you're trying to hurt someone, you're with the wrong person"

He wouldn't show what truly hurt him.

"Seriously Fred? Why are you insulting her? She did nothing!"

"You're seriously defending her? Did you hear what she said to me? After all we've been through, you're taking her side?"

"You shouldn't have insulted her."

His friend didn't understand. He took the side of the person that hurt him.

"How are you?"

"Not great."

"Why?"

"I've been insulted, this person is trying to get my friends away from me. Some friend of mine took his side."

"You know, friends come and leave in no time. You'll get new ones before you know it. You shouldn't worry about that."

"That's all you've got to say?"

"What? It's true!"

His own best friend didn't understand anymore. Nobody understood anymore. And he knew that having them beside him was making them less happy. He was driving them all mad. He was ruining them and their lives.

He knew everyone was partying for the new year. He knew everyone was spending time with their loved ones. But he wasn't part of them. Who noticed him leaving anyway? Nobody. They didn't care whether he was there or not.

He tried to do as his friends did him to do when he was feeling this way. He tried to tell himself it was gonna be okay, that he would be okay. But who would believe it? All of them, all the persons around him we're happy. They had their family, they had partners, something to hold onto. He was the only he could hold onto. He held onto himself only.

He tried to hold his tears, he wasn't able to. He felt himself get more and more tired. He would miss midnight. Why would it matter? For him, it was only a day like an other. One more day to suffer, one more day to fight against it. Against this fucking sadness. He drifted off to sleep easily.