Freddie Mercury one-shots

Sang pour sang (Deacury)

This is a very old chapter that I was supposed to finish, but that I don't feel like finishing. I think it's okay like that!

3rd person's POV:

It ended too quickly the first time.

Neither of them would ever forget the time they got announced. When they were told something that would turn their life upside down. Something that would ruin everything they had achieved to get.

"I'm sorry to announce you that the baby didn't survive."

The doctor had said other rubbish things, but none of them listened. It didn't really matter now. They were left alone for a little while, to be able to swallow it all. To try and not make a mess out of themselves.

The room stayed silent for minutes. Neither of the men looked at each other. John rubbed his eyes, beginning to feel so tired. He never really cried, he wasn't a heart on the sleeve type of man. He never really showed his weaknesses. But this time, he didn't try to fight when tears began trickling down his face.

It made Freddie turn and look at him. 'Look what you did' was all that was repeating in his head. Over, and over again. It made him cry too. Not as silently. Loud and painful sobs came out of his hand covered face. He felt empty, as much in his belly as in his heart.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, John." He had sobbed, guilt taking over, making his throat close up. It hurt so much.

The hand that stayed on his shoulder barely made him feel any less cold. It was horrible, all those thoughts eating him up from inside. He knew it was his fault, he had killed their baby. He didn't understand how he had managed to mess up again, but he did. And now the thing that mattered the most to the bassist was gone. He always managed to ruin everything.

"It's okay, Freddie. It's not your fault. It's not your fault." John tried reassuring.

He didn't use that nickname he usually loved to call his lover. He knew it would hurt too much. Baby. And it was such a cute thing he liked to call him, and the musician knew it made the singer feel loved and beautiful. But now he really couldn't bring himself to say it.

"I'm sorry, I'll try to be better, John. I swear. I know I'm not good at it, but I swear I won't fail next time. I promise, Johnny." The pianist whispered, his sentences mixed with tears and sobs. His hair got in the way, getting all wet.

Arms were wrapped around him. The arms of the frowning man he loved so badly. The man he wanted to be better for. He couldn't lose him. So he'd be better next time, because Freddie knew how bad John wanted kids. He knew it was important. So if they didn't have them, Freddie didn't know what would make him stay.

The brunette shushed him, his hands rubbing on his husband's back. The panic words coming out of his lover's mouth made something in him break. The knowing in his voice, that he would be left alone if he didn't make so much more effort, even if he was already working so hard for this to work. For them to have their own family.

"I'm here, love. You did your best, it happens. I'm not gonna leave you, okay? I love you so so much, I would never leave you." John quietly said in Freddie's ear, tightly his grip on him.

It had lasted weeks of all of this happening all over again. The singer apologising way too much, panicking, telling himself all the hugs were the last ones, that at one point there wouldn't be anyone to comfort him. He was always comforted by sweet words, so softly said.

*****

It took a year for both of them to finally be able to be ready. And they now wanted it so bad, to add a new part to their little family, which for now consisted of them two and a few cats. And each time they looked at each other, even if they were so scared, they knew the other wanted the same thing.