Freddie Mercury one-shots

Knock Knock, Get The Door, It's Depression (Part 2) (Frian)

Brian's POV:

I grunted when I realised I didn't have my wallet on me. I had probably forgotten it at the studio. I guessed I was too angry with Freddie to even think properly. I hated how selfish he acted sometimes.

He seemed weird these past weeks. He barely talked to us anymore. Spent time with us only to work at the studio. And only when he worked with us at the studio. He always stayed silent. Freddie never used to be silent more than a few seconds.

I just could feel there was something with him. I sometimes caught myself staring at him, noticing there was no longer a little sparkle in his eyes. Noticing he didn't smile anymore. He didn't poke us until we'd do what he wanted anymore. He didn't annoy us all day long anymore.

Most of the days, he'd just stay in his room for hours and only come out to eat, he barely even ate. He'd ignore our calls for him. He'd ignore our laughters. He'd ignore us and he'd stay in his little bubble of misery.

And it's only right now, that everything came to sense. Every action, every word, every silence, every moment of numbness finally meant something. I knew what it was, because I used to live through it. I knew what it felt. What it felt to be depressed.

I couldn't comprehend what had escaped my mind every time I noticed his state. And now I hated myself for being so selfish and non comprehensive. For doing exactly the opposite of what he needed right now. He needed to be understood and listened.

I felt stupid. So fucking stupid, watching my friends dancing in this club, almost completely drunk. Me, flirting with other people, drinking to accentuate every ounce of happiness in my body. To make me feel at the top of the world. Because that's always how I wished to feel, and now I could. Because I was free, free from every drop of depression that once hit me.

And my best friend, the one I wanted to stay my entire life with, was probably having one of the worst nights of his life. He was alone. And I knew how toxic it was to be alone, to be left with only your thoughts and the suffocating silence. Nobody there to help you feel better. Nobody there to take you in their arms and say: 'Everything will be fine!' Nobody there to wipe away the tears that never stopped falling.

I felt my heart become heavier as I thought about Freddie. I felt the urge to just leave and go and make him feel better. I pushed through the filled crowd and finally reached John and Roger. Luckily enough, none of them were as drunk as I thought they were. They maybe had one or two drinks only.

I didn't tell them the real reason. I didn't say why I really wanted to rush home. I just yelled over the music at them that I felt too tired to party and I wanted to go back home. I didn't have neither my keys or my car, so they needed to go with me.

I drove, I didn't want us to have an accident. My heart was beating at the speed of light. I just wanted to be there for Freddie, at this exact moment. I didn't want to leave him to that pain, a pain I knew way too well. And I really didn't like to think about him living through it.

The moment I parked at the studio to get my keys, I felt something weird. A sensation in my gut telling me there was something that wasn't right. That something wasn't happening like it should be. I took John's keys to open the door of the building. I walked through the short hallway before opening the door that led to our own studio.

I walked to a living nightmare. Broken glass everywhere on the floor. Freddie, even more broken than the glass laying as a carpet in the studio, laying on the cold floor with blood falling down his half opened mouth. I had arrived way too late.

"Oh fuck." I panicked.

I fell on both of my knees in front of my best friend. I didn't care about the glass slowly cutting my legs. I pinched the skin of his elbow, hoping I was wrong, hoping he was only asleep. But he didn't flinch. He didn't wake up like I wanted him to. The little sheet of paper beside him didn't escape my view. I picked it up quickly.