Love Birds (Erkenci Kus) - Not just your average love story ❤️Canem Forever ❤️

Episode 34: You Said Love

In the past Can would run to the mountains to get away from his troubles and search for answers. The mountain for him was where time stopped. The rock does not care for minutes or hours, days and hardly years. In the rocky trails Can could forget about everything, he could just move in a place where yesterday and tomorrow didn't mean anything.

Until he met Sanem.

And then, Sanem became his mountain. But when he lost his trust in her, he also lost his way and was being manipulated. And it all came to him as a revelation by the end of the cooking workshop.

The cooking workshop served to awaken Can from his clouded consciousness and made him have second thoughts about ending his relationship with Sanem. Now that he could put the perfume issue aside in his mind everything was not so clear to him anymore. Perhaps their story wasn't over...he knew he still loved her and wanted her in his life but now he was afraid that she actually didn't want to be there for him...that she was possibly falling out of love with him. But he couldn't live with that. He still needed her love to feel secure. And so, finally, after all this time, he was ready to talk.

He would need to speak with her soon but it wasn't until overhearing her conversation with Yigit that the urgency of talking to her became paramount... especially after overhearing Yigit offering to cook with Sanem in his kitchen. Can lost it... no one besides him was allowed to cook with Sanem. Just the mere thought of another man beating her eggs, or frying some sausage with her in his kitchen drove him crazy. He was being replaced right before his eyes, in more ways than one, and knew if he didn't stop it right there and then, at that very minute, it was going to spiral further out of his control and he would lose Sanem forever. And never mind being there for him when he got back from the Balkans...he was going to lose her before he had even left. He was nervous, anxious, scared. The only thing he could think of doing was falling back on an old ritual that had always helped him in the past when he had a problem...and that was to run and seek answers in the mountains. But this time he decided, on the spur of the moment, that he was going to take Sanem with him. He needed to take her far away from all the distractions... he needed to be alone with her....to talk things out ...and he needed to do it immediately. It was the only way he could convince her to keep things the way they were or at least slow things down to give him time. But Sanem was still too angry and stubborn to go anywhere with him voluntarily...so Can did what any other desperate red-blooded caveman would do...he captured her against her will! Ah Can! Ah!

We've often related Sanem to a bird...the magpie to be specific. Well Can was certainly treating her like one, even dressed her like one sparing no expense and buying her a sexy form-fitting indigo blue ski jumpsuit, with fox fur earmuffs and a pom pom hat to match to keep her warm. And trapping her in his car and then the chalet...Have you ever tried to catch a wild bird and put it in a cage? It is not happy whatsoever and wildly flies around crashing into the sides of the cage. This was Sanem when Can "locked" her up in the chalet. She tried prying the door open, looking desperately to find a key, banging on the window. Sanem was usually happy and free...and now she was all caged up and not happy at all. She was angry, and determined to make Can regret that he ever took her there in the first place. She would not give in to any of his ploys and not give him any satisfaction whatsoever because even after taking these desperate measures and having felt this way, Can still didn't feel the need to apologize for the breakup and the way he treated her.  Nor did he admit that his decision to take the photography job in the Balkans with Polen was premature and impulsive and that it might have been a mistake.  Pride was still his problem. He still felt what he was doing was right. And that Sanem was not considering him at all in her plans, (even though he forgets telling her that he didn't want her in his life). And he is too proud to apologize and admit that he was wrong.

But Sanem is not so innocent here either. Although Can was prepared to talk, Sanem was over it. She was done talking. She was done with feeling unwanted, passed over, rejected, and ready to move on.  She wanted to show him that as far as she was concerned, Can was too late. She wanted him to know that she wanted to start a new life, without him. And having Yigit there gave fuel to her fire. And she knew this would hurt him but that would be the price he'd have to pay for hurting her.  But deep down, we know Sanem is hurting badly and still wants him desperately. So she is doing this purposely. This...is also pride.  Pride prevents us from realizing our own vulnerabilities and makes us too uncomfortable to say, "I'm sorry, I was wrong, I made a mistake." When pride rules, we believe we're always right. This makes it difficult to stay in any kind of intimate relationship. Can and Sanem both were too proud to back down and therefore would never be able to find a resolution in this state.

Can soon realized that despite their extraordinary love connection neither of them were going to give in, and running to the icy cold mountains may not have been the smartest solution to melt the tensions between them. However, although Can was unsuccessful in turning Sanem around, he did learn a thing or two about himself and his expectations on true love. Sanem made him face the cold honest truth. In her analogy of the mallards she explained how the ducks nesting in frozen waters would selflessly flutter over their mate to protect them from the sleet and the ice, never even considering to fly away...something that Can, the typical albatross, found strange and couldn't understand. Her reply was that even with wings they would never leave their mate while building their nest...and that was what true love was about. Of course she is implying that even though Can may have wanted true love he wasn't capable of giving it...that sadly he didn't have what it took to love her in the way she needed to be loved...that he couldn't handle true love, even when it was staring him right in the face. He also learned, that unconditional love could only be achieved through forgiveness...that true love melts the ice. When Can got the call that his mother may be ill and had to return, Sanem instinctively went to hold Can's hand...she was showing him how even after kidnapping her and fighting with him she can forgive him and still love him, all at the same time. It showed him that this was how true unconditional love works.

After returning home without making any progress in changing Sanem's mind, Can felt defeated. But without realizing it...something good started happening inside of him. He was changing. It first started in his interaction with his mother when he walked into his home. He kissed her...for the first time since he was a young boy. He jokingly forgave her after realizing she had tricked him into coming home earlier as she wasn't as ill as she implied. But perhaps he kissed her for another reason...a far bigger reason. Perhaps he kissed her to show her that he forgave her for leaving him all those years ago when he was just a little boy. This would be the start of his healing process that has deeply affected his capability to love unconditionally.

But his greatest revelation doesn't come until later on, when he has a one-on-one with CeyCey, our greatest CANEM love supporter, who has been our Cupid all along. Can opens up to him after a few drinks at the local taverna and only then does he reveal to CeyCey, and thereby admitting to himself, that he has lost the most important thing in his life and Regret is starting to settle in. Can has now come to a turning point. In losing this great love, it served as a hard lesson for him to learn.  And that was to STOP running away from his problems...to STOP running away from himself. This was the crucial moment which brought him to the decision to stay home, be fully present and face his fears rather than to run from them, which led him to turn down the job in the Balkans. And by not telling Sanem that he had turned down the job, he showed that this was a decision he made for the betterment of himself. And when Sanem learned of it, she was elated. Yes, because he was staying but also because he had made the decision, all on his own.

When she showed up at his hut that night, Can was surprised and confused to see her because in his mind he had already let her go as he had thought that's what she wanted. And seeing her there, standing in front of him,  after thinking about her all night he wasn't sure whether to believe she was real or just another dream. But when she cried out "Catch me!" he knew that she was both real and his dream. As she ran towards him and jumped into his arms to kiss him, he caught her, just as a dream catcher would catch a good dream...and he realized just then that Sanem was his good dream that had come true and promised himself that he would never let her go again.

Canem Forever ❤️❤️