POETRY THAT STAYS

Expectations

I always expect the worst in every situation. It's my way of saving myself from manifesting disappointments. I always see people leaving when they just freshly arrived. 

I always hear their silent goodbyes after saying their hellos. I always anticipate rain in the morning when there's no hint of stars the night before. I always see myself at the bottom. Always expect that someone could do it better. 

I always see people choosing someone over me. I always cling to the dark side of the room until I was unnoticeable. I expect them to have no expectations of me. 

I wanted to see life in this perspective, where all I could have in my sight is temporary bliss and a prolong pain to endure if I get too attached.

 So all I see is darkness, all I see is the plain side of the world. All I expect is short term commitments and impermanent interests. 

I always expect them to get tired of me when they realize i am nothing but a void.

I expect the worst and by then, I see it coming and I might come prepared.

This is my way of preserving myself.

That if ever good things happen, then I am good.

If ever things go bad. Then, I am still good.