Help Me (sequel to Save Me)

Chapter 46

I'm curious. How many people read and don't vote? Lmao I dare you to leave a comment if that's you. Don't feel bad about it, I really don't care, I'm just curious. I read without voting all the time.

Andy drives Remington to therapy the next day, since the boy mentioned feeling too anxious to drive himself. He wouldn't have gone if he didn't have someone to take him and Andy doesn't want his mental health to be sacrificed because of something he can't control. It means he's late into the studio, but his fiancé comes first. He always will.

Remington hugs Andy and gets out the car, knocking on the door and greeting Abigail, who steps aside to let him in. "Was that Andy in the car?" She asks, sitting down.

With a nod, Remington fiddles with Holly's letter in his hands. "I didn't want to drive today." He sounds anxious and he knows he does. "I got a letter from Holly," he practically whispers, holding the piece of paper out for her.

Abigail takes it, noticing the blood but not saying anything about it. "Tell me what happened when you read it. What did you do?"

The boy looks down at his hands, rubbing his wrists which are, once again, protected with bandages that Andy put on this morning. "I didn't want to believe that she'd written to me," he explains, "and I kept reading it so many times until I couldn't breathe. I didn't really know what I was doing."

It saddens Abigail to see what Holly's written, how manipulative she is. "How did you calm down?" She asks, folding up the letter and putting it down on the table.

"Andy came home and made it better."

The woman hums. "Do you think you would have been able to calm down without Andy?"

Remington shrugs. "Probably not. It would have taken so much longer to calm down without him. Is that bad?" Suddenly he's paranoid that he hasn't recovered at all, that the only reason he's been feeling okay is because of Andy.

"No, not bad, Remington. It is important that you can calm yourself down without him, because one day you might have to, and we need to know that you'll be okay if that happens." She picks up the letter. "Can I get rid of this?"

Remington hesitates but then nods. "How do I calm myself down, Abi? I swear I thought I was gonna die yesterday." He watches his therapist put the paper in the bin and it feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

"That's something we need to work on. It's normal to feel like that during a panic attack, and it's okay to think you can't possibly calm yourself down, but it's going to cause you problems if you actually find it impossible. Does that make sense?" She gets a nod, and goes on. "I don't want to frighten you by saying this, Remington, and I want you to understand that it's okay to have panic attacks and that experiencing them does not make you any less valid that anyone else. I know that it might feel that way sometimes." Everything she says always makes Remington feel so much better and he wonders what he'd be like if he didn't have her to talk to. It's funny that he's so attached to her because when he first met her he was sure he hated her.

"All the time," he mumbles, "I feel like that all the time."

Abigail feels for him. She sees how much little things effect him. "How's it been with your fans recently?"

The boy shrugs. "Not great. They won't stop blaming me for tour being cancelled. I woke up in the night crying about it the other day," he admits, recalling that night. "It was weird, like suddenly I just needed to cry or something." He twists the engagement ring around on his finger.

Andy picks Remington up after therapy, asking him how it was and checking that he talked about Holly's letter with Abigail. Remington assures him that he did and asks if he can come to the studio with him just for something to do. When they arrive, Remington is greeted by the rest of Black Veil Brides, and makes himself comfortable on the sofa. He talks to Lonny (what a fucking babe) for a while, since he's never had the chance to really get to know him since he joined the band.

"You're quite skinny, aren't you?" Lonny asks, and for some reason it doesn't hurt Remington, not one bit. It seems like a reasonable question. He is quite skinny.

The boy hums. "Yeah, I had a bit of a meltdown on tour and stopped eating for a while." He sees it as a real accomplishment to be able to just say this to someone who he hardly even knows.

It's clear Lonny wasn't expecting that answer. "Shit, man, that's rough. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."

Remington shakes his head. "No, it's okay, it's good for me to talk about it." He smiles at Andy, who glances at him, glad to see him socialising. He remembers when it was impossible for him to talk about anything remotely personal with anyone apart from his brothers.

"I heard about the tour cancellations. That must've be upsetting." The bassist says, crossing his legs and looking at Remington.

Nodding and pushing a hand through his hair, Remington responds. "Yeah, it wasn't easy, but I wasn't well and carrying on would have been stupid. I think collapsing in front of fans is where you draw the line." He chuckles. Wow. He never thought he'd laugh about it. That's got to be a good sign, right?

Lonny's eyes widen. "Because you weren't eating?"

"Yep. I knew something was wrong and I kinda convinced myself that I was fine. Obviously I wasn't and I ended up in hospital with a feeding tube taped to my face. The amount of times I've been in hospital is ridiculous." The more he says the more surprised he is at himself for managing to say it. "How are you finding Black Veil Brides?"

The man smiles. "Really fucking great. They all welcomed me in and it's like a family. Andy's the best friend I could have."

Remington glances at his lover briefly. "Andy's the best," he agrees, "this song sounds fucking insane," he remarks, tuning in to the music playing as CC is drumming. "I cannot wait for the album."

Lonny nods in agreement. "You're a fan, huh?"

"I lead the fan club!" They both laugh. "It was mental touring with Andy a few years ago and now I'm gonna marry him? Wow, life is crazy."

Go give HeartArtemisHunter some love! They've helped me a ton with this story and is writing a really good book about Emerson.