Help Me (sequel to Save Me)

Chapter 80

Trigger warning!!

Remington is confused. Even after talking to Abigail, he doesn't know what to think. He wants to go home to Andy but he's so scared that he'll have another fucking hallucination.

At Sebastian's place, he still won't talk to his brother about it. It feels all wrong. He just wants to go home, but his brain, as usual, is fucking every thing up. Again. He can't rely on himself and it fucking sucks.

Sebastian wants Remington to go home. Not because he doesn't care, but because after looking after him for six months straight, he's not sure he's up to it anymore. He needs a break, and Andy is so much better at taking care of Remington than he is.

The guitarist makes food and after he's made it, realises that it's something Remington won't eat. He gives it to the boy anyway.

"I'm not eating that," Remington says, rudely, because he's tired and so sick of his brain ruining everything. He pushes the plate away.

Sebastian sighs. "Please just try," he says, trying not to snap at the fragile boy.

The younger puts his head on the table. "I'm not eating that," he repeats, already on the edge of tears.

"Remington, come on, please try." ,

"No! You know I can't eat cheese, Sebastian! You know that!" He hates that he's crying. He's so sick of crying.

Sebastian knows he shouldn't be talking to his brother like this but he can't seem to stop. "Why are you doing this?"

The boy lifts his head up. "Why am I doing what?"

"Why can't you just eat normally?" Sebastian wants to throw himself off a seven storey building for asking that. Everyone knows you never ask an anorexic person why they can't just 'eat normally'.

Remington can't believe he's just been asked that by his own big brother. "You're not the one with he fucking eating disorder!" He shouts, "you don't fucking know what it's like to fucking despise your body all the time. You have no clue!" He pulls the plate towards him. "What do you want me to do? Eat it and then throw it all back up again? Sure! I can do that!" Tears are dripping onto his clothes and he stabs the fork into the baked potato, scooping up too much and shoving it into his mouth.

"Remington, no, stop," Sebastian tries. "I'm sorry. Please stop." Shaking his head, Remington keeps shovelling the food into his mouth, sobbing. "Stop!" The boy flinches at the shout. He stands up, throws the plate on the floor so it shatters, and darts up the stairs so fast that he's locked himself in the bathroom before Sebastian can stop him.

Remington doesn't turn any taps on. There's no point when Sebastian already knows what he's doing. He kneels by the toilet, wipes his eyes, and shoves his fingers down his throat. Sebastian can hear his poor brother gagging and he knows he's really fucked up this time. He kicks the door down and grabs Remington's hands tightly, crying as the boy fights against him. "Let go!" He keeps begging, "let go! It hurts!"

Sebastian doesn't let go. He doesn't know what's worse. Hurting his brother physically, or hurting his brother mentally. He's really fucked up.

"Let go!" The boy's voice is raw, throat hurting. "You're hurting me!" He is sobbing, screaming, trying to pull his hands from Sebastian's grip. "Holly, please!"

Sebastian flinches at the woman's name. He doesn't know what to do. If he lets go Remington will just stick his fingers down his throat again, but if he doesn't let go, he's probably going to give the boy a panic attack. So he struggles with his phone, texts Andy.

need ur help!!!!!

what??

come round now! rem needs u!!

ok, coming.

The guitarist lets his phone fall to the floor. He loosens his grip on Remington's wrists but the boy pulls his hands from him, so he grabs his hands again and holds them tight. Too tight for Remington's liking.

"I'm sorry," he cries, "Holly, please, I'm sorry. I'm sorry!"

Sebastian can't see properly through the tears. It hurts so much to be causing Remington this amount of pain. He hopes that Remington will calm down but he doesn't and the longer he's holding his wrists like this the worse it gets.

Neither of them hear Andy running up the stairs, and Sebastian sends him a desperate look when the man appears, panicked, in the doorway. Andy pushes his worry out of his mind and comes to the rescue. He takes Remington's hands and pulls the boy into his chest. "Remington, sweetheart, can you take a deep breath for me?" He says softly, sitting on the floor.

Remington's mind registers Andy's voice as safety and he scrambles to get as close to the man as he can. "Let go," he begs, "please, it hurts."

Andy releases his hands and the younger wraps his arms around his husband, sobbing into his shoulder. "It's okay," Andy whispers, and looks at Sebastian, as if asking what the happened.

Instead of talking, Sebastian just holds up his phone, saying that he'll text him what happened, and Andy nods, turning his attention back to the boy in his arms.

"I'm going to take you home, okay?"

The boy manages to nod.

Andy gets him to his feet and helps him out of the room and down the stairs. The boy is shaking and rubbing his wrists. "Deep breaths," Andy reminds him, opening the car door.

"I hate him," Remington mumbles, more to himself than to Andy. He sits in the car and closes his eyes, trying to calm down.

The man gets in the driver's side and starts the car. He decides to stay quiet until they get home, when they can snuggle up and talk about whatever the hell Sebastian did to cause that. When they get there, Andy guides his lover inside, sitting on the sofa with the boy in his lap. He holds Remington's hand, frowns at the redness of his knuckles. His wrists are bruised. "Talk to me, princess, what happened?"

Remington rubs his eyes. "He shouted at me because-because I couldn't eat what he gave me. Scared me." His throat hurts.

"Bloody hell," is Andy's initial response, said under his breath. He can't believe Sebastian would be stupid enough to do that. "I'm sorry that happened, baby boy. Did he hurt you?"

With a long, sad sigh, Remington nods. "My wrists," he says, "he hurt my wrists."

It makes Andy despise Sebastian. The older brother knows so well how to talk to Remington to keep him feeling safe, and instead, he shouts at him.

If only Andy was aware of what the man would do tonight.