Help Me (sequel to Save Me)

Chapter 73

Trigger warning.

Andy is waiting by the stage, about it run out and start the show. He hugs his band members and wishes them a good show, and one by one they go out on stage and the introduction to their song Faithless begins. He waits until his cue, excited for the show, and as soon as he steps food on stage the whole room erupts in screams. He never gets tired of this. The atmosphere is electric.

Four songs in and someone who works in the venue comes up to Andy and talks into his ear. "Your phone's going crazy," he tells him, because before the show Andy had asked that they let him know if his phone rings more than once, knowing who it'll be. He nods so they know he's heard and, during the guitar solo, shakes his head a Jake, which they both know means that, for some reason, he can't move onto the next song yet, and for them to keep the audience entertained until he can. He puts the microphone in the stand and runs off stage, taking his phone from the man who came on stage and finding a fire exit so he isn't overheard.

Just as he's about to call Remington back, his phone lights up with the boy's name, and he answers. "I'm sorry I didn't pick up, pretty, I was on stage. You okay?"

Remington falls back against the wall when Andy finally answer and shakes his head. "No," he says, "Sebby's gone out for a run and I-" he trails off. Andy knows what he's going to say.

"Okay, deep breaths for me. Where are you?" He's breathing heavily, not fully recovered from jumping around just moments ago, and holds a finger up when someone opens the door.

The boy shivers. "Bathroom," he mumbles, "haven't done anything yet."

The person goes back in without interrupting him. "Can you go into the bedroom?" He asks, knowing that if Remington stays in the bathroom he'll find it so much harder to resist. Andy just needs to keep him safe until Sebastian returns.

"Okay." Remington gets to his feet and opens the bathroom door. "Andy?"

"Yeah?"

He sits on the bed. "I'm scared."

The man can picture his husband's face and it kills him inside. "It's okay, baby boy, you're okay. I'm going to keep talking to you until Sebastian gets back, okay?"

The news is soothing to Remington. "Thank you," he says, "sorry."

"No. Talk to me, princess. What have you done recently?" He hopes that talking about something else with distract Remington, at least enough for him to be okay until Sebastian gets back.

Remington is lying on his front now, phone on speaker by his head. "We wrote a song yesterday and Faye came round in the evening to play board games with us. I think she likes Sebastian." He remembers how the two had hit it off straight away, teasing each other and laughing like school children.

"I can't wait to hear the song. Who won the games?" The door opens again. He knows they're waiting for him but he isn't going to go back in until he knows Remington isn't on his own.

"Faye won most of them." He rolls onto his back. "I think Sebastian's back," he says, and gets off the bed to see if the noise he heard was the front door opening and closing. He looks down the stairs and sees his brother taking his shoes off. "He's back."

Andy is relieved. "Okay, good. Tell him you're not feeling so good, yeah? I love you and I'll call you after the show."

"I will. I love you. Bye." Remington is the one who hangs up, and runs down the stairs to his brother, who could hear him talking on the phone.

"Do we need to have a movie night?" The older questions. It's become a routine to have a movie night when Remington's disorder is playing up. The boy nods.

Meanwhile, Andy is heading quickly for the stage. He hands his phone back to the man and runs back out, picking up the microphone, and addressing why he left so suddenly. "Sorry about that. Family emergency. I trust these lot kept you entertained?" The screams confirm that they did, and the next song begins. Andy's minds keeps wondering to Remington, and he hopes that his husband is safe now his brother is there.

Remington is comfortably in Sebastian's lap, and surprised his big brother by asking if there was any popcorn. Sebastian, of course, made popcorn, and was even more surprised that Remington actually ate some. He doesn't make it into a big deal because that'd only put the boy off, but it makes him happy to see that Remington still does enjoy food, even if it's only sometimes. As promised, Andy calls him an hour or so later, checking that he's okay, and is glad to hear Remington had some popcorn. The lovers talk for a while, and it's so clear to Sebastian how Remington's mood is lifted after a conversation with his lover. He hopes for a relationship like that one day.

What I ate today -
1 piece of toast with butter
Lunch made me feel sick and I didn't have anything (bacon sandwich)
A bowl of spaghetti bolognaise (couldn't finish it)
Some popcorn while we were watching movies.
Nearly made myself sick when Sebastian was out but called Andy and he stopped me. I thought I was going to faint after not having anything for lunch. I hate feeling like that.

I hate this fucking disorder and I hate my fucking brain.