Help Me (sequel to Save Me)

Chapter 36

Trigger warning - sorry :(

Even though he is absolutely exhausted, Remington can't fall asleep after hugging that girl. When she wouldn't let go of him it really did bring back unpleasant memories of how Holly would hold him down on the bed or on the floor or against the wall. Anywhere. Andy isn't sleeping either. He can't when Remington is unsettled like this.

The boy moves about in the small bed for quiet sometime, trying to find a position that's comfortable, but everything seems so forced. He rubs his eyes and yawns and only gets more upset when Andy takes his hands, because he knows that means he was scratching again. Fuck.

"Settle down," Andy whispers. He hates that those two people have got to him like this. It really isn't fair how rude they were, how they didn't even care that they made Sebastian wake Remington up when he kept saying no.

Remington sits up and shakes his head. He just wants to sleep. "I'm going fucking crazy," he mumbles, barely audible. He runs a hand over his face. "I'm so tired." He sounds physically pained and so exhausted and it is upsetting for Andy to see him like this because of some stupid fans tonight. He was sleeping so peacefully before they made him get up.

Andy sits up with him and strokes his hair. "Lie down, sweetheart, you're okay." He knows Remington probably isn't okay. It's pretty obvious that he's been affected by being woken up.

With a heavy sigh, Remington turns around so he's facing Andy and wraps his arms around the man's shoulders, leaning into him. "My head hurts," he whimpers, sniffling. His voice is so quiet Andy can barely make out what he's saying.

"Do you want some water?" Andy asks gently, slowly lying down with the boy against his chest. He rubs Remington's back with one hand and grabs his hand with the other. "Baby?" The poor boy nods against him, but whines when Andy stops rubbing his back to reach for the bottle of water. Andy unscrews the lid and hands it to Remington, who takes the bottle in his hands and brings it up to his mouth.

He hands the water back wipes his mouth with the back of his hands, collapsing into Andy and yawning again. "Why can't I sleep?" He whines, "I'm so fucking tired. This isn't fair." He's trying not to cry now, but his efforts aren't proving very effective, and he's too tired to control his emotions, anyway.

Andy strokes his hair and pulls the covers up over his thin body, keeping his hands underneath. "Shh-no more talking, sweetheart."

They are quiet for a few minutes, with Andy rubbing circles into Remington's back in a hope it'll send him to sleep, but it doesn't. The longer he isn't sleeping, the more tormented he becomes, and the worse the memories become in his head.

"Don't move," Holly would say, "don't fight me."

Remington always did as she said. He didn't fight back. But somehow he was always always in the wrong. Always.

He still wonders why the hell she hated him so much. It doesn't make sense to him. It never has made sense to him. Not once. He tells himself that it was because of what he looks like, but that can't be it. There must be something else. There has to be something else to it.

He sits up again suddenly and frees himself from Andy, scared the man is going to turn into Holly in front of him like he has done in the past.

Andy doesn't question him. He knows what's going on.

Remington is shaking. It's been a while since anything like this has happened. His eyes are burning because he's so unbelievably tired and the hot tears the roll down his cheeks are making it so much worse. "Why-why is this happening?" He sobs, shielding his face with his hands. "Don't hurt me, please-please don't hurt me." His voice is strangled, tortured, terrified. He's suddenly freezing, like the cold night wind is coming through the walls of the bus and whipping at his delicate skin. He wraps his arms around himself.

"Remington, sweetheart, you're safe. No one's going to hurt. You're safe here. You're safe with me." Andy doesn't move. He doesn't try to touch the boy. He just talks calmly, softly, and hopes with all his heart that it brings comfort to the damaged boy before him.

The boy stares at Andy. He shakes his head. "Promise?" The innocence in his voice is so heart breaking. He sounds like a child.

Andy has to keep himself calm for Remington, as to not make him more panicked. "I promise on my life, you're safe with me."

It takes a moment of hesitation, but then Remington crawls into Andy and grips him tightly, sobbing into his shoulder while Andy rubs his back and whispers soothing words. And finally, Remington is sent to sleep, leaving Andy to carefully lie him down without waking him up in the process.

He goes to sleep to, with the boy in his arms, though finds is difficult to sleep, and wakes up throughout the night, worried about Remington, and is relieved to see him sleeping everytime he wakes up.

In the monring, however, Remington is still way too tired, and practically bursts into tears when he's told it's time for soundcheck. He just feels so run down and all he wants to to do is sleep in Andy's lap.

He finds it hard to focus in VIP and has to leave early because he's finding it so hard to keep his eyes open. Andy sits with the boy in his lap and it barely takes Remington two minutes before he's unconscious in the man's arms, head against Andy's chest, weary eyes closed. Andy plays with his hair and rocks gently while he sleeps, hoping he isn't having an unpleasent dream. He really doesn't need that right now.

When Emerson and Sebastian are done with VIP, they take one look at their brother flat out and make the decision to cancel tonight's show. They hate letting fans down like this but it doesn't take a genious to see how completely drained Remington is. It would be really stupid to have him performing tonight.

"We are so sorry," Sebastian begins, standing infront of the line outside. "Remington is so tired and had to leave VIP early because he was falling asleep. He's flat out in the green room and we're not going to wake him up becauase it's clear he needs to rest. We apologise and we understand that this is really upsetting for you all, but out brother's well-being is so important and I'm sure you all feel the same. He needs to be safe. Tickets will be refunded and we will be playing here again soon." He can see people in the line, and they all look so disappointed. "Me, Emerson, Daniel and Andrew will be meeting everyone, taking photos, and signing things, but Remington really needs this sleep." He turns around and the two go back inside. They hate doing this. They really hate it, and it wouldn't be happening if those two people last night had just accepted that Remington wasn't coming out to hug anyone.

Sebastian Danzig retweeted:
Palaye Royale: Anyone at tonight's show - we are so so sorry that we've had to cancel and, while we hate to let you down, our brother's well-being comes first. He was disrupted last night when we made it clear he needed to sleep, and the consequence of those two people is that he is so exhausted today that playing a show just isn't going to happen. Please understand that we would never cancel a show unless we really have no choice, and that Remington is so improtant to us, as he should be to you, so tonight's show WILL NOT be going ahead. Sebastian, Emerson, Andrew and Daniel will all be outside meeting every single one of you. All we ask is that we get no complaints about this. Thank you. Much Love. x

Makes me so mad that people think putting Rem's mental health at risk is acceptable.
Sending my love to Remi.
Is Remington okay?
Don't apologise for this!
Honestly, fuck those two who ruined it for everyone else. They should be ashamed of themselves.