Help Me (sequel to Save Me)

Chapter 146

The bassist from now on is called Johnny. I've gone back and changed his name, but have probably missed some.
Trigger warning. (Suicidal stuff)

It takes Remington nearly an hour to eat lunch in the bus, sat with Andy at the small table. "I don't want it," he complains, pushing the pieces of chicken around with the fork.

"I know, sweetie. You can do it." Andy rubs his shoulder.

The boy stabs a piece of chicken and then pushes it off the fork again with his fingers. "I can't," he mumbles, "it's scary."

Andy takes the fork from Remington's hand and stabs a piece of chicken and some lettuce, his other hand touching Remington's cheek so the singer looks at him. "Can you eat this for me?" He asks carefully.

Remington nods, opening his mouth and accepting the food.

"There we go. Good boy."

After swallowing the mouthful, Remington wipes his mouth with a pout.

Andy ruffles his hair and stabs some more of the salad. "Can you manage some more, honey?"

"Do I have to?"

"Ideally, yes."

"Well that sucks." He accepts another fork full. They continue like this until he's nearly finished the chicken salad, and Andy reminds him to call Abigail.

He does, sitting in his bunk. "Hiya Remington," she greets, "how's tour going?"

Remington looks at the drawings fans gave him pinned on the wall. "It's complicated," he answers.

"Try and tell my as much as you can."

He traces pencil lines with his finger. "Me and Andy had a fight yesterday. Well actually I shouted at him and he tried to calm me down for ten minutes."

"Okay. What was this fight about?"

"I said the guy who attacked me the other day is Holly's brother and he said it might not be and I got angry." He lies on his back and looks up at the ceiling. "And also I was taking diet pills again and I didn't tell anyone and it was making me really anxious which is probably why I snapped."

"Have you told someone now?"

Remington smiles to himself for some reason. "Yeah. Kinda. I didn't tell him, but Andy found them and got rid of them." His hand automatically migrates to his ribs.

"And how did that make you feel when he got rid of them?"

The singer sighs, no longer smiling. "Kinda-kinda hopeless. I don't know. It's weird. When I'm taking them I feel awful because they make me feel all shaky and tired, but when I'm not taking, I feel awful because I know I'll have to gain weight. I want anorexia to fuck off. Sometimes I wanna stand on the top of a fucking building and scream at anorexia to leave me the fuck alone. And then when it doesn't leave me alone, I'll jump. Bam! Dead. Problem solved. No more Remington. No more anorexia."

"Let's talk about more healthy ways to cope with it, okay? We don't want you actaully doing that now, do we?"

"Speak for yourself. I'm quite happy to do that." He turns onto his front. "But yes please. Ways to cope."

Abigail shakes her head. "Okay. How have you been sticking to times for eating? How's that been on tour?"

"I haven't."

"Not at all?"

"Hardly. When it's time to eat, I can't because everyone else is and it makes me feel sick eating around people are eating, too. Andy always makes sure I eat at least two meals a day but sometimes I just-I can't. I want to but I can't." There's a crash from the other end of the bus and he flinches.