Help Me (sequel to Save Me)

Chapter 7

Remington sits on the couch waiting for whoever is visiting him this week. He doesn't know who he wants to see more; Andy or his brothers. 

The door is pushed open and the blue-eyed man comes in, smiling, and sits down next to Remington. "Hiya, sweetheart," he greets. 

"Hi," the boy says quietly, taking Andy's hand in his and holding it. He misses physical contact, which is odd, because of how scared he is of touching people. But when it's just Andy, or Sebastian, or Emerson, he craves it.

"How are you doing?" Andy asks, genuinely interested. 

Remington sighs. He still hasn't made up with Johnathon. It's been two days and the two have been giving each other the silent treatment. Both of them want to make up, yet neither of them quite know how to. "I shouted at everyone in group therapy," he says, "and had a fight with my roommate." Remington doesn't mind telling the older man this stuff. He trusts him and he's just happy that he's here visiting. And truthfully, Remington doesn't understand why Andy is still around. There are so many other things he could be doing that doesn't involve visiting him in a mental fucking hospital.

The man frowns. "I'm sorry. What was the fight about?" He knows it's a risk to ask this, but it seems as though the boy is in need of someone to talk to about it, and Andy is very happy to listen. He sits quietly as Remington explains about how he told everyone in group therapy that he was raped, and how him and his roommate, Johnathon, argued about how they're always arguing and about the fact that Remington hates Johnathon just because he isn't his brothers. Andy understands. He can see how lonely it can be in this place.

Remington was made to come here against his will, and it's difficult for him to make friends because of the whole Holly situation, so the fact that he even managed to talk to Johnathon is a huge thing for him. It's such a shame that the two keep fighting.

"I think you should talk to him, princess," Andy says carefully.

Remington shakes his head. "I don't have a clue what to say, and besides, he'll probably just shout at me again. He always shouts at me, Andy, and it's scary." Normally, Remington tries to hide his vulnerability, specially around people he doesn't know or trust, but with Andy it's different. He feels safe with the man and he knows that he won't be made to feel useless because of being scared of something.

The rock star kisses his lover's hand. "Tell him that shouting scares you, that it brings back bad memories. He'll understand. He's here to get better, too." The man makes a good point. Johnathon should understand.

"What if he doesn't stop, though?"

"Then you talk to someone about it. A doctor or your therapist. You can't keep arguing with him, sweetheart, it's not good. You're here to recover, not to be scared."

Remington smiles. "How are you?" He hates that they're always talking about him on these visits. He loves to hear about how everyone at home is doing. It makes him feel so isolated when he doesn't know what's going on outside the hospital.

"I'm good. I've been having lunch with your brothers a lot recently."

The singer is happy to hear this, to know that Andy is around Emerson and Sebastian, keeping them company. "How are they?"

Andy pauses for a moment, reminding himself not to tell Remington about Sebastian's drinking problem. "They're okay. They both miss you and they can't wait for you to come home." He kisses the younger's hand again. "Sebastian is painting his living room."

"What?"

The man chuckles. "He decided he didn't like the colour the walls were, so he's painting them."

Remington giggles. "What colour?"

"Have a guess."

"Red?" Andy shakes his head. "Green?"

"That's right. Green. He's painting his living room green." He sounds amused and disgusted at the same time.

Remington raises his eyebrows. "Who the fuck paints their living room green?"

"Your brother, apparently."

"See, this is why they need me. Because I would never let him paint his living room green. What the hell. He's a fucking idiot." It's funny how easily he's been cheered up just by talking about Sebastian. "But what sort of green is it?"

Andy looks around the room for something to compare it with. "You see that poster?" He asks, pointing to a piece of paper pinned to the wall, "the green on that."

Remington laughs out loud. "What a loser. That's horrible. I'm gonna make him paint over it."

"Please do. I can't sit in there without wanting to be sick. It's terrible."

Andy has to leave eventually, though Remington is now in a much better mood. He decides that he is going to try and talk to Johnathon, and so goes to find the man.

Johnathon is in their room reading a book, and doesn't even look up at the boy as he comes in. Remington sighs and sits on his bed. "I'm sorry," he says, "I shouldn't have been angry at you when you were only trying to help. I just-I find it so hard to make friends and talk to people I don't really know, and I got scared when you shouted at me. I didn't know how else to deal with it." He is talking fairly quietly. He doesn't know if the man is actually paying attention. "I know that I'm difficult to be around and I make things worse by crying or something, but I can't help it. I've been treated like shit for years and the only thing I could do was cry, and I know that isn't an excuse but-what the hell am I saying-that is an excuse. I feel that I have the right to be upset or angry or scared when I'm shouted at because my ex would scream at me and hit me and as soon as someone shouts at me it's like she's there again. So I guess what I'm saying is that I'm sorry, but I don't think I've done anything worth apologising for, and we both need to accept that. We had a fight and we're adults and we need to get past that, like adults." He stops talking and just sits quietly, waiting for a response.

The man looks up from his book. "I'm sorry for shouting," he says sincerely, "you're right, I do have anger issues, and I need to work on that. Can you forgive me for scaring you?"

Remington is so relieved that they are able to get past this. "I forgive you," he says, "but don't do it again. Please."

"I will try my hardest not to, okay?"

The boy nods. "Okay."