Help Me (sequel to Save Me)

Chapter 79

(Before I start this chapter - saw a confession about how it's offensive to be writing fanfics about palaye being gay when they're not, and now I'm wondering why this would be offensive? It's fiction! What about all the fics about MCR and Twenty one pilots and BVB shipping members together? Isn't that the same? Members in those bands are married or in relationships and people write stories about them as if they're gay and their partners don't exist. The confession also said that fanfics glamorize mental disorders and stuff and I just wanted to make sure that no one who reads this feels like I am doing that. I try really hard to make everything realistic and I apologise if I have, at any point, offended anyone. Please let me know if anything in this story -or any of my stories- has offended you. This story isn't intended to hurt anyone who suffers with anything mentioned and I'm really sorry if I have hurt anyone. That's never my intention and I'm sure you all know by now that you can always message me for a chat.)

Trigger warning.

Andy thinks it's so beautiful how Remington trusts him.

The boy is sitting in front of him in the bath tub, head tilted back against his shoulder. "Don't knock that off," he says, pointing at the mug of tea on the side.

Andy chuckles. "Do you want some?"

Shaking his head, Remington finds Andy's hand under the water. "I love you," he whispers, looking at their hands.

"I love you more, baby boy. I missed holding your hand." As he often does, Andy kisses the younger's knuckles, the ones that are scarred, and rubs his palm.

Remington hums. "I missed you holding me." He leans forwards and turns on the hot tap for a few seconds to warm up the water. "Missed having baths with you. Makes me feel safe."

The man runs a hand over Remington's chest. "How does going to the climbing wall tomorrow sound?" He knows Remington hasn't been able to go climbing for a few months because he's been too weak for it, but he's looking so much healthier now and the boy loves climbing.

"Sounds perfect."

"I bought you something while I was away."

"What is it?"

Andy kisses his head. "You'll have to wait and see, won't you, pretty?" In his arms, Remington sinks further into the water, his knees bent and his head back, so his ears are underwater, and looks up at Andy fondly.

They're quiet for a while, calm, and Remington knows he feels the happiest and the calmest when he's with Andy. He's so in love that he doesn't always know how to control it. He giggles when his husband tickles his sides and reaches his arm up, touching Andy's jaw. "Stop," he whines, smiling.

Something looks off in Andy's expression. Remington stiffens. He closes his eyes, tries to shake the weird feeling away. But then he feels pressure around his throat, a hand over his mouth. It doesn't feel like Andy's hand. Acrylic nails are poking at his skin.

And then he can't breathe because he's under the water.

Remington screams but he can't hear himself. He feels like he doesn't have a mind, like all he is to her is a body to play with, an ugly ugly body.

He thrashes around and all he can hear is his own blood in his ears, all he can see his Holly, the hotel room, that knife, that fucking knife. He's pulled out of the water and coughs hard, pushing away whoever is there and stumbling out of the bath tub. He doesn't know where he is.

The quivering boy grabs a towel, wraps himself in it, shoves away someone who tries to grab him. He doesn't know who it is. He recognises the paint colour on the walls.

Remington finds his phone downstairs, calling his brother and pulling the towel tight around him, scared. "I need you to come get me," he says, shaking, "please, now."

Andy knows better than to approach the younger. He sits on the top step, listening, and wipes away tears. It was so unexpected.

When Sebastian turns up, he helps Remington, who's shivering and wet, into his car, finding a blanket on the back seat and giving it to him. "What happened?" He asks, pulling out onto the main road.

"Don't know," Remington mumbles, "I thought-I thought I was drowning."

Sebastian glances at him. He looks so broken. "Was Holly there?" The boy nods. He doesn't want to talk about it. "Do you want to stay with me tonight?"

Again, Remington nods. "Please."

The boy seems vacant. He lies in bed beside his brother and stares at the ceiling, unable to sleep. What the hell?

Sebastian had called Andy when they got to his place. "He had some sort of flashback," he explained to the worried man, "he's gonna stay here tonight."

"He isn't scared of me, is he?"

The guitarist wanted to cry at how upset Andy sounded. He really does love Remington. "No, Andy, not you. Holly."

"But did I trigger it?"

"I don't know. He won't talk about it. It happens sometimes. Don't be beat yourself up. I'll let you know how he is in the morning, okay?"

Andy didn't know what to think. "What if I did trigger it?"

"Just stay calm, it'll be alright. Remington adores you. I'll take care of him, okay. I promise it'll be okay."

Remington wants to send Andy a text, to tell him that he didn't push him away because he was scared of him, but because he was just scared of everything. But he left his phone at home and asking Sebastian to borrow his seems stupid. This is all so stupid.

In the morning, Sebastian lends the younger some clothes and drives him to therapy. "Tell Abigail what happened, okay, bub?" He says, pulling up in her driveway.

"I will," Remington responds, getting out the car and walking up to the door. He knocks, and is welcomed in. "Something happened," he says to Abigail, looking at his hands in his lap.

"Okay, what's that?"

The boy sighs. "I thought-I thought I was being drowned yesterday."

Abigail notices that he doesn't have his notebook, and that the clothes he's wearing don't look like what he'd normally wear. "Was this a hallucination?"

Remington shrugs. "I don't know, probably. I was-I was in the bath with Andy and everything was fine. Actually, everything was great. But then-then I was pushed under the water and I swear it was Holly. Like I could feel her." He shudders at the memory of it, of her. "And-and I think-I think Andy pulled me out but I was so fucking scared and I just-I thought he was her and now I-what if Andy leaves me?" The words come out fast and it's so relieving to say it all.

"Andy won't leave you," is the first thing Abigail says, and then, "have you talked to him since?"

The boy looks at her. "No. Wanted to but I left my phone at home when Sebby picked me up. I feel awful. I pushed him away when he tried to help and I-he's gonna be so mad."

"No, he's not, Remington. He knows what you've been through. He will understand."